Anxious
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Why i throw a lot of tantrums? I don't want this and want to change. Write me some suggestion please.

There is something I want to ask about my behavior lately in the past few months. I don't know why I become more aggressive and hard to control my temper. I often easily get angry, raise my voice to my boyfriend (we lived together), throw small things at him, and very easily stressed out.

How to get rid of these behaviors? I know that this behavior is wrong and such a big red flag, but sometimes I did all of that thing unconsciously. In my entire life, I have never experienced doing something like this by myself. But there is something I knew that my mom always threw lots of tantrums at me and my father since I was child. My boyfriend is a good man, he provides for me and supports me every time I get down. I really want to change for him and don't want him to hate me.

My background is I'm 22 years old and I live in Indonesia. I work as a 2D Artist at a game company. I think my job is not under high pressure.
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CountScrofula · 41-45, M
I used to have angry outbursts when I was younger. What slowly worked for me was addressing my anger well before I'd have any kind of outburst.

A major one is just removing myself from a situation. When I found I was about to shout, I'd just leave. Go for a walk. Or go to my room. Just -exit-. That way I'm not raging at another person. Importantly, I would discuss this in advance with your boyfriend so that if you need to leave he doesn't follow you and just lets you calm down.

I also always felt "let it out" just trains you to be angry all the time. I try to just let it dissipate. Again, walks always helped but just slow breaths or changing my attention to something else helps as well. Anger will always eventually leave, so let it just do that.

I've done this for so long that it actually takes a lot to get me angry now, and I get over being angry very fast. It's a huge change from when I was 18.