Losing someone

I hear people talk about crying non stop when they've lost someone... that wasn't the case for me... I cried, and still cry, but not like this. I hear people say that they got devastated and couldn't collect themselves, well, I went out on the same day taking care of matters, I don't even know how I did it... but I did it.

But I know that my mother is ALWAYS on my mind, ALL the time.. there isn't anything I do that doesn't remind me of her.. Sometimes I even wonder why such things would remind me of her, when they don't even have any connection to her, other than that I used to do these things when she was alive.

I have no idea why every single time I see my face in the mirror, I remember her instantly..

I may not be crying non stop, or stopping my life and falling apart, but my heart aches daily for various and many reasons.

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firefall · 61-69, M Best Comment

You're not, I think, someone that cries copiously or uses it as an automatic coping mechanism. That doesn't make your grief less legitimate or less overwhelming. Given how you were living with her right to the end, it's natural , unavoidable, that she's a big part of your life, and her absence makes the thoughts of her everpresent.

BittersweetPotato · 31-35, F

@firefall I think what you mentioned is exactly accurate. I am sure all my siblings are sad, but because I was living with her, there is just a lot that reminds me of her... something as simple as shopping, I used to get two of any food I'd buy myself, now anything i pick up i am reminded... any restaurant where i used to buy her food i am reminded... it is different when you have daily habits connected to the person.