I Have Lost People I Love From Cancer

My mother died almost 18 months ago. I think losing her really did something to me. I don’t cope as well with problems as I did before. I used to be stronger and braver. Now it’s hard for me to imagine any good things happening in my future.

Everything is scarier after your mother dies.

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Carissimi · 70-79, F

I think its traumatic experience and loss in general, Kat. With each trauma (and you and I have experienced enough as it is) tearing us down a little bit more, so that our resolve and inner strength diminishes over time. The human psyche and nervous system can only take so much before its exhausted.
It’s almost 2-years for me, after losing my H, and I still miss him. I am a changed person both cognitively and how much I can bear. I can’t deal with things I used to be able to without feeling overwhelmed, and yes, scared. I’m a shadow of the woman I used to be, and I haven’t seen a future for a long time.
You are still grieving, and after everything else you have endured, it’s no wonder you feel this way. I feel the same.
Love and hugs, Kat. 💕🙏