I have disabilities and am not allowed to drive anymore

I scheduled a GATRA pt. 1 medical appointment ride service for eligible masshealth members including those with disabilities with my mental health case manager over the phone calling the 800 phone number. I could have scheduled it online but was not sure what I needed to schedule it online I found out through an explanation you need your masshealth id number as your username and your birthday as your password later on. I get two no cost rides a month. I will use those to see my therapist . This is in Massachusetts. I am on government health insurance and have documented disabilities. Although eventually I am hoping to finish my lifetime access online courses to finish them and get freelance work. I’m so nervous about using the medical appointment transportation because tomorrow or Monday they will give me the name of the company and the phone number and I wonder when the vendor will pick me up from my house. I have to ask. I also probably qualify for SRTA on demand which is an on demand bus service that picks you up at your house, drops you off at your location, and picks you up again when finished. This is southeastern Massachusetts service for people who can’t. Access the regular busses often elderly, disabled, and so on. I’m really nervous about using public transportation because I used to drive been about two and a half. Years three years since I have driven. So I’m used to getting rides from my family members. It’s a smaller bus but I worry I’ll lose track of time and miss my bus. There is an agreed upon place to pick up and drop off. But being driven by and taking rides with strangers. I have only used the Boston train once with my cousin and her then boyfriend when I was visiting her up at college and they had to guide me to use it.. I’m not at all. Used to taking public transportation and being on another’s schedule. I’m used to now doing things when my parents and sister can take me but that’s it. Or when my grandparents are here they can give me rides. My parents are working with my mental health case manager. And department of mental health and their affiliated and mass health vendors. To get me some more independence. So these rides the bus on the demand service costs $6 dollars round trip. My parents are afraid I’ll get into an accident while driving because of slower reflexes and delayed. Reaction times and being on a bunch of different medications. I have been in a couple of accidents and fender benders when I was younger so that made the insurance costs go up. I’m scared of getting stranded even though my dad is home during the day and can pick me up if something happens. My mom can pick me up on Tuesdays and the weekend if something happens. I miss driving and being able to take myself places but I don’t miss dealing with assholes on the roads with tailgating, honking, cutting off, and screaming from their cars just because I was oh I don’t know following basic road rules and courtesy. The obnoxious behavior made me really angry and anxious. Peoples impatience and aggression made me want to rip their heads off. I also used to drive below the speed limit. I also lost track of where I parked my car several times too in the past and was looking for a long time. I felt so stupid when I found my car again. I have made mistakes and I’m renewing my license for a form of identification but will not be driving anytime soon again. It just limits my life. My family did not let me drive far away before only to like providence or Newport Rhode Island. Was like the farthest I was allowed to drive. But I was not allowed to drive to Boston. Massachusetts or the few towns surrounding it. I wasn’t allowed to drive to Salem Massachusetts. Or any long distance driving. I used to think that was restrictive until I wasn’t driving anymore. This is what I get for not being a thriving, functional adult and having. Mental disabilities. It’s not the same as having physical disabilities. Or an intellectual disability. Yet they are disabilities nonetheless. I hope I don’t get stranded with this medical transportation or miss the pick up time at my house from not being able to get information from the vendor that is transporting me because I haven’t been able to talk to someone to ask what time they are picking me up when my appointment is documented at 2:30 pm and end time is 3:30 pm or even before that maybe 3:15 pm or 3:20 pm. But 3:30 pm to give me time to reschedule my next appointment and head outside. So many things could go wrong. Or I will have to write down the name of the vendor and phone number so I don’t. Forget or put it on my phone.