I have debilitating mental illnesses and low energy

And I’m going to have to work very hard to overcome them and get off disability benefits. I feel like such a failure and loser for getting on disability. There are people who really need disability benefits through no fault of their own but I feel like I shouldn’t be one of them. It’s also a way to stay poor for life and yeah it may make you qualified for subsidized housing and poor enough to be on government insurance but it’s not much to live off. Also my pride has taken a hit It’s been like six months since I have been on SSI. I don’t want to be this person forever. I know I’m capable of working part time that is maybe 20-30 hours a week. and making more than SSI allows I just have to slowly work my way up there. I can’t make more than $1500 to $1600 in wages monthly before I get cut from disability and can’t have more than $2000 dollars in my name for financial assets. Being on disability sucks. Also, since my disabilities are not obvious some people would just look down at me for being on disability. I have mental illnesses and cancer. Although the cancer is almost cleared and it was the early stages. This is not who I wanted to be. I feel like with the right kind of careers flexible schedule and remote I can be a productive member of society with job conditions that support my mental health. Are a part of it. Maybe I could even do 30- 40every week if it wasn’t. 6-8 hours through with no breaks each day but I broke up those 6-8 hours into chunks. And even better yet I could get paid by the hour, by the project, word, page, audio minute or hour, graphic//logo/image etc. I think 5 days a week is more than enough to work or 4 days to condense the week. All I know is I need 2-3 days off to take care of life and do my hobbies and passions and cultivate my talents. First I will start with a few hours per week and maybe increase.it by four or five hours after each few weeks. So to start working say 5-10 hours per week. After a few weeks make it 15. Then eventually work my way to about 30 hours a week and if that goes well I can try 35-40 hours or its equivalent. In a few months to a year I can slowly ease my way in. But at least 20- 30 hours at minimum. Probably 35-40 hours is too much but I can try. I’m not working more than 30-40 hours per week though and I’m not going to give myself a mental breakdown by burning out. But I think I can ease my way into 20-25 hours for dealing with working hours at a minimum. I will probably have to look for affordable health care plans on the marketplace.

Or I could stick to only making $1500-$1600 a month in wages and keep my disability benefits. My parents and sister worry if I get into more depressive episodes that I can’t snap myself out of. and lose work and don’t have disability benefits. That I will be screwed. And I have my government health insurance that covers everything and I don’t have to pay out of pocket for even my prescription medications. But if I move out of Massachusetts I would need a new health insurance plan. And being disabled I can free rides to medical appointments in the future called pt 1 if I want more independence than having to rely on my parents. To give me rides. I have debilitating mental illnesses and my cancer treatment tires me out. But hopefully I can overcome them and at least work and study part time to achieve my goals.