Why do some people demand comfort from the grieving ?

My wife's uncle just passed away on Monday afternoon at 94 years old. We were speaking to her cousins on Friday and I advised that I am in Sydney on Sunday and if you like I would be happy to go see Ivan (dad) the oldest one said no as I would like you to remember him before he lost all of his weight and his memory. I got a text message on Monday afternoon that he passed away, and we sent a message back offering our condolences, and I sent another one saying we will let you grief and will call you later during the week