I Hate Cancer

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My twin and I were an “ooops” pregnancy when mom & dad were in college, but they were both on fast-track programs toward advanced degrees and eventually PhD’s so they needed help with us. Mom’s mom (Omi) and dad’s parents (Nannie & Grumpy) stepped up to the plate.

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Nannie & Grumpy had the house with the extra space and the time since Nannie didn’t work so that became “home” for us. Omi was (and is still) around a lot and was the only baby sitter we ever knew, otherwise we lived with Nannie and Grumpy full time. Mom and dad were around between semesters and every other chance they got, so basically we were an extended family project but there was tons of love.

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I don’t know why, but for some reason I became very attached to Grumpy right from the start. In fact, “Grumpy” was my first word (yes, yes, it was supposed to Grampa but I was just learning to speak and it stuck). I remember taking naps on weekends at three and four years old sprawled out on his chest/belly as he tried to watch football games on TV.

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By the time we were five years old my parents had completed their education and gotten jobs. They bought a house and my brother and I moved in with them across town from Nannie and Grumpy. Nannie and Omi took care of us after school and on weekends I did everything I could to spend time with Grumpy.

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I learned to bait a hook from Grumpy and eventually how to clean a fish. We dug for quahogs (clams for you city folk) and steamed them on the beach. He taught me to sail and to respect the ocean. When I began studying taekwondo everyone came to my tournaments, but Grumpy decided he could afford to be in better shape and took up taekwondo with me.

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We earned our black belts just as I turned 14. That’s as far as he went, but he’s been to every single taekwondo event of mine since then and my first black belt hangs next to his to this day. He taught me that sailing, and life, is not just about getting from point A to point B, it’s about the path you take along the way.

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We began sailing longer and longer distances together. The boat was old but she was seaworthy. I suppose those of you not near the ocean might go camping with someone? Well, we went sailing. Up the Maine coast and down to Long Island. The little cook stove onboard was plenty to heat up some hot chocolate in the morning and many weekends were spent at sea.

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A few years ago, at Thanksgiving, I came out to my extended family. There was shock and there were questions and at one point Grumpy looked at me and asked if I was happy. When I nodded, he said that was good enough for him and that it was time to eat. Somehow he knew I’d had enough of the questions and he came to my rescue.

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I love my mom and I love my dad. I love Omi and Nannie. I love my brother and my friends and many of you. But I need Grumpy. I’m not ready to face the world without him. Last year he was diagnosed with cancer and while the disease itself didn’t seem to affect him at all, the treatment sure did and he lost a ton of weight.

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Despite how the treatment seemed to beat him up, it beat up the cancer even better and he was declared in remission. He began eating again and put back on almost all the weight he lost. His new boat arrived and we sailed it home together from the factory a few states away. I was blown away when I saw that he named her after me.

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I’m working toward my 3rd degree in taekwondo and Grumpy comes to every class and even comes by sometimes to watch me teach the younger students. And on weekends we often take the new boat out together. He likes the early mornings the best; there is something special about sunrise on the water. The seas are calmer in the morning as well and that makes for better conversation.

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Grumpy is in the hospital this week because his cancer came back. I don’t know what this means and where we are going from here. Right now he is arguing with the doctors because he wants to go home for the weekend. He can be stubborn and argumentative when he’s not getting his way (and people wonder where I got it from). He already told me that he and I are going sailing this weekend.

I hate cancer …

I really do.



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[b]About me: [/b]https://similarworlds.com/sarabee1995/info