I wish I had answers

I'm too embarrassed or maybe a little traumatized by my current health ordeal to the point I don't know what to say to my best friend who sent me a text to check on me. I might be kinda ignoring him but I really don't feel right in the head. In fact I ignored my sister too yesterday and didn't answer her call or explain why I didn't answer.

I feel weird and tired, definitely not myself. I can't tell if I'm getting better or not I mean I'm in less pain than yesterday after another fuked up night but the main problem still remains. I don't feel so strong today and my will to fight and not give up is broken I just want to escape by sleeping it away. I want to try and get out for a walk or whatever but I don't think it's a good idea yet. I can't think I need a break from my thoughts.