Went to the GI doctor today

Apparently my liver numbers are now magically normal somehow?

I'm so tired of this fucking disease. It's always such a mystery. XD

It would be so much easier if there was a solution or something I could do to maintain good numbers instead of just, "Welp, looks good to me, see ya in a year!"

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

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JustGoneNow

I’m sorry. I care about you, if that matters.

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow It does. :3 🤗

This is just getting old. Like chasing a white rabbit that's also stabbing me when no one's looking. 😂

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda I know. And I’m truly sorry. I wish I had an answer. I’d give it to you in a heartbeat. You’re one of my favorite people here. True, honest, and kind. Most of all kind. That’s important to me, because I’m messy… emotionally. Goodnight, my friend.

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow I am too. :) It's one of the reasons I do my best to be kind, because I know how tough this experience can be and I don't want to add to anyone's burdens. I did that enough when I was drinking back in the day.

Good night! I hope you sleep well. :3

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda ty 🖤🤗

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda I’m not a bad person… I know some people here think that I am. I’m just a person who struggles… a lot.

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow You're not a bad person at all. :) I read people exceptionally well (which is why I have so many of them blocked haha)

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda North Star. My North Star. I’m blessed just to know you.

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda Just thinking about you. Hope you’re well. 🌸

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow Depressed and tired but hanging in there. :) Had three doctors appointments this week and I'm just feeling completely drained.

I hope you're doing well. :3

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda you are so kind. I’m a little down because my good friend’s grandbaby is probably gonna die. Her twin already did after three days, and know it’s been seven weeks and she’s had 7 surgeries… and her grandma, my friend, says it doesn’t look good for her.

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda So, I’m a bit sad.

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda but you’re my friend… and I’m hearing you say that you need help. What can I do?

thepeculiarpanda · 36-40, M

@JustGoneNow Don't know that there's much to be done unfortunately. I'm just out of steam for dealing with this condition and this broken body of mine. Tired of having to work within a system that doesn't care to help and is only interested in pushing expensive drugs that do nothing but exacerbate the issues.

I'm tired of living like this but it's the only choice. Just kind of having an existential crisis.

JustGoneNow

@thepeculiarpanda #NotYet 🖤

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/3086882-Not-yet-Not-yet-Some-times-I-dont-even-want-to