Diet Advice/Help

So I know I've asked several times on here what diet I should do or what I should do to lose weight and I always get comments to limit portions but I used to count calories which is basically like portion control and I failed at it. I use to count calories on an app and lost 50 plus pounds but I gained it all back during quarantine when I stopped because I couldn't stop myself from eating. Also when I count calories my metabolism slows down and I'd find myself not going to the restroom for an entire week and when I did it was using laxatives. I've also done other kinds of diets like paleo and vegan (kind of) and I'll lose weight but then I stop losing it and I stay the same weight for some time and then get unmotivated. And I know I can lose all the weight calorie counting, I'd have to use laxatives of course but once I get to my goal am I really going to keep eating 1200 or 1500 or 1800 every day while using laxatives every week forever to stay at my preferred weight? I just don't think I'll have that motivation and I don't think it's healthy either. I've also been thinking and I think I may just be built to be heavier. I do have really wide bones. I am like 5'7 and weigh 190ish pounds and my goal weight that I feel I look really good at is 130 pounds. But honestly, at this point, I think I can just settle if I have a flat stomach and some chest muscle. What do yall think or what would yall do? Should I focus on exercise and building muscle in areas I want to look better? It's not that I eat out a lot or anything to weigh what I weigh it's just I really like carbs.