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I Remember My First Kiss

I remember, because it was only a few weeks ago.

I was going to join the "Never Been Kissed" Group, however I'm still confused as to whether that applies to me or not anymore. Let me explain...

Almost twenty four years old, and I hadn't been kissed. This is both by choice and lack of opportunity. Actually, I eventually convinced myself I never wanted to kiss anyone. You only have one chance to give your first kiss away, and you'll never get that moment back. So I decided I'd rather keep my first kiss to myself, no one will take that away from me. However...Then I met a guy. Not the first time I met a guy, of course, but definitely the first guy that had me thinking [i]"Should I kiss him?"[/i] Partly because I liked him enough to, and partly because I also wanted to get it over and done with regardless of what I convinced myself all these years.

I'm in Australia, and he came over from England to spend two weeks with me. As friends, but it was also to see if there's something "more" to our connection in person. In the second week of his visit, we visited this beautiful place about 3 hours from where I live. It was on a summit, that overlooked the city and the ocean. We sat there for two hours just to see the sunset, and during the sunset is when he (for the 10th time) indicated he wanted a kiss. I said no at first, like all the other times, but then I looked at the magnificent view in front of me, and realised if there was ever gonna be a good place to have my first kiss, this spot was probably one of the better ones. So I turned my head, leaned in and we kissed.

Except, is a peck on the lips even considered a real kiss? Our lips were dry from the breeze, and they touched for literally seconds. Straight after the kiss, the first thing that came out of my mouth was [i]"Well that wasn't as good as I had expected..."[/i] Probably not the best thing to say, to be honest. I suppose in my mind, that is unfortunately too romantic at times, I had thought there'd be sparks and I would feel all giddy. I'm highly certain I blushed, but I didn't feel anything.

However, this is not to say that I don't like him. Surely a quick peck on the lips isn't enough of an indication that I like someone or not. We kissed several times on his last days here, but they were all dry pecks; we both wiped our mouths before we touched lips. I don't even know if that's normal or not. And I'm not too sure whether I can still consider myself as "never been kissed", or if I really have given away my first kiss, no matter how quick or underwhelming it may have been.

I'll see him again soon. Not too keen on kissing "properly", however you do that, but if it happens, then I hope there's more of a physical and emotional reaction towards the experience on my end.
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76starships · 46-50, M
Oh my. You got the "first kiss" under your belt. Good. Now when you see him, or meet someone else and you feel like you want to be close, you can just kiss. Don't build it up so much, enjoy being with someone who makes you feel safe and happy.