im going back to closing myself off to the world.

ive been this way since i was a teen. its always felt safer not getting close to others. people have always had away of harming. i never really had a life because of it. never dated. never really done much. never had a s.o. never had many friends. its not healthy but it feels so normal to just shut everyone out. not getting hurt not caring about people that ultimately was just using you or really didnt care. i went onto social media 3 years ago. to help with my mindset as i was suffering from a dark depression. and felt like maybe i would find some friends i could relate to online.. that ended up being a mistake. im going to be heading back to my closed off state. cutting everyone out. to be alone. focusing on myself. probably the reason im pretty much a mute and have a hard time communicating. but you dont have to deal with others.

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LadyGrace ·

I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you, however, please consider that that type life was not something forced on you. It is something you chose. You have the option of choosing to turn things around, the same way you used your reasoning to live the other way. Things will always remain the same until you change them. You might start by getting help with the depression. One cannot think straight or make sensible decisions, when in the throws of depression. You're too young to live this way. Many other disabled, suffering or dying people would gladly take your place for a second chance. Life is a gift. It's what you make of it and do with it, that counts.

DanielChristensen · 46-50, M

@LadyGrace Well said Grace. We create our perceptions of others and the narratives we live by. I envy people who tell themselves they can do anything.

LadyGrace ·

@DanielChristensen I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13