You remind me of my (mom/dad)!

So how many kids do you want. Shall we start tonight?

My wife said one of her college first dates actually asked her how many guys she had sex with.

Let’s get married

I really should introduce you to my probation officer. You'd like him

Youvremindmexof my mom

OMG! That's what I said when she did the world's biggest sneeze inside my car when dropping her off from our 1st date - and it was like a huge spray! by the way I said it she was pretty insulted and got out quickly...I tried calling - this is before cellphones - and spoke to her Mom - I told her to pass along I'm sorry, but she never called back....🤧

Do you prefer your eggs scrambled or fertilized?

Yeah I just really think showering every day is performative

Wanna see me naked?

Hang on a minute, it’s my wife calling

You remind me of my mom

Hold my Kleenex for me, will ya? My nose is running like CRAZY! 🤣🤣🤣

or oh by the way i once had a sexually transmitted disease .....

Let me call the doctor and get those results before we go further.

I have touretts syndrome.

Do you go to the STD clinic often?

Does this chloroform smell funny to you?

can you stop at the liquor store so i can get a bottle of rum

Can I brush your hair

Can i sniff your seat

talk about your ex non stop

It is never important what i say or not, because i am the girl. It is the guy who has to be attractive for me. By words, by body language, authentic. A no go is a guy who tries to show that he is dominant and expects that the woman is a sub and follows his orders 🙄. Plus: macho guys.😝

“What the hell?”

It's just herpes

Be-bop-a-louie .... it just sends the wrong signals .....;)