Dating Advice- Red Flags
Ok so I didn’t realize how much I typed until I finished, but here it is. Sorry for the novel in advance
I have a friend who is genuinely looking for a serious relationship. She started talking to a guy about a MONTH ago( keep that in mind) . At first everything sounded normal, but the more she tells me about their conversations, the more it’s starting to feel off to me.
This guy is already talking about marriage like it’s basically a done deal. He sends her pictures of wedding rings and is all like, “this could be your ring one day.” He’s constantly bringing up the future too asking where they should live, sending her listings of houses, talking about what state they should move to, and what kind of home they should buy together.
And it doesn’t stop there. He’s telling her how many kids he wants, what their family would look like, what kind of life they’d build together, even what their kids names could be. He talks about their future life, their future home, and their future family like they’ve already been together YEARSSS
He also sends her videos about couples getting married, talks about wedding ideas, asks what kind of wedding she’d want, what season they should get married in in, what kind of venue they should look into. Sometimes he’ll even say things like “when we get married” or “when we have kids.”
The thing is… from she told me, she didn’t even bring up marriage first. They’ve barely been talking for a MONTH. They’re still at the stage to me where people are supposed to just be getting to know each other learning about hobbies, personalities, values, and seeing if they even click.
Instead, it feels like he skipped all of that and jumped straight into planning an entire life together.
I told her it just seems like a lot for such a short amount of time. To me it feels rushed and honestly kind of suspicious. Like… DUDE slow down. You barely know each other. A month in and you’re already talking about all this?
And honestly, from my experience, most men don’t even talk about weddings in that much detail to begin with let alone this early on. Usually men don't even get that involved in the wedding planning from what I've seen.
Usually when men are serious about marriage they’ll talk about commitment or the future in a general sense, but not like in detail like this not like sending ring pictures and planning venues a few weeks into talking. It all seems suspicious to me and setting up a huge red flag like WHY?
Maybe I’m wrong and overthinking it, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me.
The thing is, she doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong with it. I think the fact that she really wants to get married might be clouding her judgment a little.
So my question(finally!) Am I overthinking this, or does this seem strange to anyone else?
I have a friend who is genuinely looking for a serious relationship. She started talking to a guy about a MONTH ago( keep that in mind) . At first everything sounded normal, but the more she tells me about their conversations, the more it’s starting to feel off to me.
This guy is already talking about marriage like it’s basically a done deal. He sends her pictures of wedding rings and is all like, “this could be your ring one day.” He’s constantly bringing up the future too asking where they should live, sending her listings of houses, talking about what state they should move to, and what kind of home they should buy together.
And it doesn’t stop there. He’s telling her how many kids he wants, what their family would look like, what kind of life they’d build together, even what their kids names could be. He talks about their future life, their future home, and their future family like they’ve already been together YEARSSS
He also sends her videos about couples getting married, talks about wedding ideas, asks what kind of wedding she’d want, what season they should get married in in, what kind of venue they should look into. Sometimes he’ll even say things like “when we get married” or “when we have kids.”
The thing is… from she told me, she didn’t even bring up marriage first. They’ve barely been talking for a MONTH. They’re still at the stage to me where people are supposed to just be getting to know each other learning about hobbies, personalities, values, and seeing if they even click.
Instead, it feels like he skipped all of that and jumped straight into planning an entire life together.
I told her it just seems like a lot for such a short amount of time. To me it feels rushed and honestly kind of suspicious. Like… DUDE slow down. You barely know each other. A month in and you’re already talking about all this?
And honestly, from my experience, most men don’t even talk about weddings in that much detail to begin with let alone this early on. Usually men don't even get that involved in the wedding planning from what I've seen.
Usually when men are serious about marriage they’ll talk about commitment or the future in a general sense, but not like in detail like this not like sending ring pictures and planning venues a few weeks into talking. It all seems suspicious to me and setting up a huge red flag like WHY?
Maybe I’m wrong and overthinking it, but something about it just doesn’t sit right with me.
The thing is, she doesn’t seem to think anything is wrong with it. I think the fact that she really wants to get married might be clouding her judgment a little.
So my question(finally!) Am I overthinking this, or does this seem strange to anyone else?
26-30, F
