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Mildly AdultUpset
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Feeling sad 32yrs old and never had a girlfriend

My story is very sad.

I'm 32 yrs old and never had a girlfriend. I got into the habit of seeing escorts from an early age of 18 out of curiosity and it became a habit.

So I've had lots of good sexual experiences with lots of good looking women from all over the world over the yrs but this is not fulfilling emotionally especially as I am directly paying for sex.

I have lots of positive characteristics. I work from home for myself and make 6 figure net income in space of 10 months. I'm 6ft tall and have a great muscular physique from lifting weights consistently over last 14 years.

I also have bigger than AVG penis size 6.5 inches. Despite this I get no results from online dating. I think this is because I am Asian and not white and I'm only attracted to white women.

Every escort I have seen over last 14yrs has been a white women. Quite a few of them have been attracted to me physically and given compliments.

I would like to get into a normal relationship with a woman that I'm attracted to and is attracted to me but I get very down from all this past baggage.

I see many men with girlfriends yet many of these men don't have lots of muscles like me, not 6ft tall or don't make 6 figures so I always get angry and upset when I see other couples as I ask myself why am I not with this girl, I am better than this guy, etc.

As online dating doesn't work for me due to race (online dating is best suited for white men), I have to meet women socially. I don't socialise too much but I do go to a salsa/bachata class once in a while and nothing materialises there other than just improving my dancing.

I go to the gym regularly but women there generally don't want to be disturbed. I have talked to some girls there but doesn't go anywhere.

I have tried cold approaching women in public and in supermarket and even got few numbers but goes nowhere.

I don't know what to do at this point. What also gets me down is that every woman I've had sex with in my life has been an escort. I don't go to bars and clubs, don't drink and online dating (tinder, etc) doesn't work for me.

This subconsciously gets me down even though I have a great physique and good income. I feel like I am better than a lot of the men that women are with in terms of physique, money , etc and I just always get angry and jealous seeing couples as it feels I will never get a girlfriend.

At 32 as well I am getting older and feels like I've run out of time. Mentally this whole situation gets me down most days and I don't know how to ever escape from this mental prison.
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SW-User
You can afford it, so get therapy. You need it.