Why do some guys try way too hard?

Girls too sometimes but I mostly see it with guys. Like they’ll just come on too strong. You can just tell they’re trying to be the most noticed guy in any room their in. Loud, vulgar, making weird comments, or jokes. Like the kind you can just tell they’re tryna get a reaction out of you even if it’s a negative one. Will just randomly say something like “I’m gonna 7 wives. One for each day of the week”. Like all their “jokes” have misogynistic tones to them and he’s not even trying to be subtle or discreet about it. Except you can tell the guy isn’t even really an alpha male like that he’s just trying to be. The “where’s my hug” kinda person. Or if they do something different like with their hair, or start working out they won’t give you a chance to notice they’ll just be like “hey you like my new watch?”

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Kodel · 26-30, M

I honestly started reading this and thought it was going to be about the guys that do a lot to show genuine feeling or show that they care about a woman they're interested in.
For this, I'd simply say look at the direction of their focus. If they are constantly saying "Look at me" with their actions but in the way of "You should choose me because look at how awesome I am," they're trying to convince themselves that they are worth it. Ironically that makes them unworthy.
However, if a man is saying "Look at me" through the lens of "You should choose me because I've chosen you and this is how much I'm willing to do to show you how invested I am in you," then they are showing you they are confident in themselves and their value and they just want to show it to you in a more comprehensive way. Some guys just try too hard in the wrong ways. If it comes from a place of genuineness though, I personally don't believe there is such thing as trying too hard. There are definitely levels to it and one can go overboard due to a personal insecurity, but genuine guys who aren't insecure will let you know how they feel about you with their actions rather than their words.