My date canceled our third date….what should I do?

So this last Thursday, he canceled on our third date. His parents had to work late Friday night so I didn’t get a chance to meet them. He said he had to think about some things and he wasn’t happy with the fact that I introduced him to my family after warning him that their racist. This was last Saturday. I only introduced him to the ones that aren’t racist. He had to talk to me when he drove me home and said I set him up for humiliation because of knew most of my dads side of the family is racist and they insulted him and yelled at me for darkening our family up. I told him I’m sorry about my families behavior and I really do like him and forget their opinions. He told me he thinks I used him to get back at my family. He was a bit hurt because he really likes me. I was shocked. That wasn’t true. After he dripped me off I told him I’ll see him at work and he gave me a cold, “Yeah….bye.” He’s half Native American and half white. I’m white.
He hasn’t texted me since and avoided me at work. I said hi to him and he coldly said hey and gave me the cold shoulder. Two days ago at work he canceled our third date because he had to think about if he should move to the next date with me. I’m worried he’s going to see some else. I didn’t use him and I kept telling him. I really do like him.
What do I do?? We’ve been seeing each other for a while. Help!

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hartfire

I'd say it's over.

You say you've been seeing each other for a while,
but also that last Thursday he cancelled your third date.
Which is it?

Some basics:
~ Don't introduce a boyfriend to your family until both of you agree that you're thinking about making a commitment to each other. After only 2 or 3 dates is way too soon - rushing it - and most men would be turned off by that no matter what the issues are.

~ Take time to get to get to know each other - at least for several months. Let your date know what your family is like[i] long[/i] before the possibility of him meeting them - and never try to force or trick him into it if he's not interested and keen.

~ If part of your family is racist you have a decision to make. Either you cease having contact with that branch of your family, or you choose a boyfriend they would accept.
There's a third choice - you could attempt to educate them and get them to see that race cannot predict character or who this man is. It is usually very hard to change prejudices - but sometimes love can find a way. They are some classic films on the topic which you could ask that branch of the family to watch.

LaylaTheTallGirl · 18-21, F

@hartfire I didn’t trick him into meeting my family. Why does everyone say it’s my fault.

hartfire

@LaylaTheTallGirl Sorry if I misunderstood.
You wrote, "he wasn’t happy with the fact that I introduced him to my family after warning him that their racist."
I had assumed that if you'd told him they were racist he would have refused to meet them - so the only way the meeting could have occurred would have been by tricking him. Based on your rebuttal, I accept that I got that wrong.
So, given that there was no trick and that he was not happy about meeting them, how did it happen? Did you apply some kind of pressure? Does he have problems with saying no?
When we respect one another we respect a person's wishes. We don't bring them into situations against their will.
The fact that you did would have been enough to turn him off.

Part of growing up and maturing is accepting responsibility for one's mistakes.
Another part is learning how the world works and being realistic about it.
Things to learn from this experience:
1. Never push anyone into doing something they are reluctant to do.
2. Never rush a new relationship no matter how keen you feel.
Let it develop naturally in it's own time.
3. Don't introduce racists to someone of a race they hate - unless that person wants to meet and says they feel they can handle it. [i]Never underestimate how destructive and evil racism is[/i].

4. Just because a person is great - and the first you have met that you feel so intensely about - doesn't mean the relationship will be a success.
Strength of feeling guarantees nothing.
All relationships face problems at some point and an essential part of success in a relationship is learning to communicate well: with mutual honesty, kindness, trust, respect and good will. If any of these is broken, it is hard work to regain and often fails.

LaylaTheTallGirl · 18-21, F

@hartfire I guess so. Yesterday he texted me that it’s best that we didn’t see each other anymore and he can’t see us going to the next level. He felt like I used him to get back at his family. It isn’t true