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Am I wrong?

I've been talking to this guy I met on Social Media for about 2 months. Things have been going well and I've told my family about him.

Last night he mentioned that he didn't like that and anything regarding him I should've asked him.

I was shocked and taken aback a bit.

It took me some time to gather my thoughts and respond because it kinda came out of left field. He mentioned that he was a private person and for reasons he choose not to disclose he just didn't want me to do that again.


In summary, I told him, that anybody who is that private I don't need to be talking to. I told him that I wanted to honor and respect his request, but I am not going to negate who I am either.

1, I told close family about him because we've been talking for a couple of months and if anything does happen between us, they would know that it wasn't all of a sudden and that we actually have been establishing a relationship over the x amount of time.

Everything that I told them about him he already put on social media.

I told him that we needed to come up with a compromise because I refuse to go back to living in secrecy.

I didn't think anything wrong with telling close family about him since I liked him and we'd been getting to know each other. That, I think should be a good thing. If I didn't tell my family about him, means that I don't care about him and don't see anything happening in the future.


This is the first real issue we have had in the two months we've been talking.

He basically said I was making it into a bigger issue, but I disagree. I think it's something that we need to talk about and iron out because if we do move forward and this issue arises again, it could break us up if it gets to that point.


EDIT: I did have a discussion with him about this after this post and after some back and forth, he finally revealed the real reason.

He doesn't want me to tell my family our business, (now and if we progress) particularly if we have an argument he doesn't want his name to be dragged through the mud which I had to tell him he needs to trust me not to do that; if we have an argument It'll be between us (and this anonymous forum 😂)

But he revealed that he does have some hurt from the past

Bottom line is he needs to be healed before we enter into a real relationship.

He is afraid to get too attached even though he is open to a potential future. He is afraid of getting hurt.

Y'all pray for us, I think we can overcome this, but he needs some healing from past heartaches.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the responses.
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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
If I understand it well, you are dating, right? I don't see why should it be a problem that you told your family about him.
Or is it possible that he doesn't see you two as close as you do and freaked out and got cold feet?

On the other hand, someone saying he's a private person and for reasons he choose not to disclose...eh, sounds shady. Only two things come to my mind: 1) being on the paranoid side 2) doing something he knows he shouldn't be doing, possibly unlawful
sweetiepoo · 36-40, F
@CrazyMusicLover Yeah but that's the thing, we aren't dating. We aren't exclusive, we haven't met in person, we are just talking, getting to know each other to see if we are compatible with each other to date. This is still the "first stage".
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@sweetiepoo Ahh, then it's possible he freaked out that you rushed the things and started thinking that you plan something big while he just wants to chat without any commitments. He doesn't need to be married or in a relationship, he probably just doesn't want any commitments yet.
There's also an explanation that he has a nosy family members that have no sense of privacy and thinks yours are the same and that your conversations might get to some other person etc. Either way, it still feels like overreaction to me.
sweetiepoo · 36-40, F
@CrazyMusicLover I highly doubt it based on the nature of our conversations. Even though we are just talking, we both shared our desire to go further with each other and how we are both looking for potential marriage. I dunno. Maybe he did freak out... Maybe we'll talk about it more and move on.