I’ve been on a few first dates where I friend zoned my date.

Tbh, it’s difficult for me to become attracted to someone closer to my age. I did try a few times, but even if the conversation was engaging, I didn’t feel any chemistry. So then I’m put in that awkward situation of friend zoning them, & I feel shitty about it because they were hoping for something more.

Sometimes I think I should have at least tried a second date. I did with one guy who was four years younger than me. I went out with him twice and….nothing. I just got friend vibes. The other 3 older men only got one date.

I know how it feels when there’s chemistry, & unfortunately, it happens with younger men more often, but they don’t want the same things I do. And with the few I’ve tried to have a “relationship” with, it never worked out after a few weeks/months due to communication issues.

Dating sucks ass! 😄😂

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

I think it’s important to have chemistry, but I also feel like it’s important to examine the situation where we feel ‘chemistry’. A lot of times what feels like chemistry is actually our issues being activated and humans are attracted to the familiar in subtle ways,.

Not saying this applies to you, but just to provide an example: someone with abandonment issues goes on a date and gets all excited because they felt chemistry; they have some good conversation and fun, but on an unconscious level what got them actually reeled in was the low key aloof behavior of their date, which pressed a bunch of buttons. Things don’t work out with this guy. Jenny goes on a bunch of other dates ‘not feeling chemistry’ and when she does feel chemistry with someone it always goes about the same, but Jenny gets so hyper-focused on wanting to ‘feel chemistry’ that she never recognizes the problem. Same thing goes for people who have commitment issues. They unconsciously investing in people who have a high probability of it not working out. Etc

This issue can appear in all sorts of different ways.

marsbar · F

@WhateverWorks I agree that psychological issues can greatly affect how one feels towards another person, whether it be platonic or romantic.