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What do you think?

Was supposed to go out on a date tomorrow afternoon and spend tge day with someone I've been talking to for over a month. She texts me today to reschedule because it's her roommate's send off party, and ask if we can meet earlier in the day, during a very narrow window of time. I feel like she's just trying to pacify me, lol. So I decline and say I've made plans already. Plan was to spend the whole day together but she was now only available for like an hour. Would rather not go on a date than just be there because the person feels obligated to.


I also gave her an out, with a "maybe some other time" response so if she wants to slow fade me and just never follow up, she can. But then she asks if we could meet on Sunday, OR "just" finish a movie we started watching over FaceTime together tonight.

I don't know why this is really getting to me but I don't like to feel like I'm just being pacified and not like she actually wants to be there. I guess I feel this way because she kept flaking about finishing the movie for a while and never brought it up again till now, and also the fact that she suggested it as an ALTERNATIVE to meeting in person on Sunday. I just feel like she's suggesting all this so she won't seem flaky, maybe this is me overanalyzing but I want to feel like she really wants to spend time with me just like I've made it know that I want to spend time with her.

Another reason this feels weird is because I brought up the fact that we hadn't spent much time together in person (for understandable reasons, she flew out of state for like 2+ weeks for a family situation) and since she got back I would've hoped that she'd be excited to see me again. But now suggesting finishing a movie over FT that we should've finished since as an alternative to meeting in person is just making me feel like I'm the one who's too invested.
somedude15
26-30, M
9 replies 78 views Aug 12, 2022
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LadyGrace · 70-79
Aw, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I couldn't help feel the same as you. I would just drop it. Seems like she's just placating you. But don't worry. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Someone who will actually appreciate being with you and you'll know it. You won't have to guess. So try and get excited about that okay? Look forward to meeting that special someone. You deserve better. 🤗
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Aug 13, 2022
somedude15 · 26-30, M
@LadyGrace thank you, that makes me feel better
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 13, 2022
Jamesy · 41-45, M
Move on .she's too complicated and no fun
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Aug 13, 2022
sirenofthesea · F
She suggested meeting on Sunday etc etc, she’s not being flaky she just has things coming up. I don’t think she’s pacifying you, but if that’s what you feel intuitively ? Maybe she is a bit. I say meet up with her on Sunday. But there’s no rush, just meet up when you can, enjoy FaceTime in between.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 12, 2022
Carissimi · F
If you’ve already met in person, and now she is suggesting face time over more in person dates, that would be a valid concern you have. You may be more invested in her than she is in you.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 12, 2022
RebelFox · 36-40, F
Go with your gut. I can’t speak for this girl, but I know what I’ve done to dudes in the past when I wasn’t really sure, and it’s to keep putting them off unless something clicked.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 13, 2022
Coralmist · 41-45, F
Would this be first time meet up in person? If so, I just recently saw on a talk show, there was a dating coach on, and they said a first meetup should be short, even under an hour they said. To get a feel for the person, but not going too much into anything in a first meet. I get super shy EVEN IF I REALLY LIKE someone, so maybe she is nervous to meet for a full day? Im sure however long it is you guys will like each other🍀
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Aug 13, 2022
Poppies · 61-69, F
I think you're overthinking this.
You don't have to know exactly where things are going. And maybe she doesn't know exactly where things are going. The choices you make might make a difference. Do you have anything better to do on Sunday? I say just take things one day at a time. Enjoy that day.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Aug 12, 2022
REMsleep · 41-45, F
She doesn't seem particularly invested. I wouldn't necessarily cut her off but I wouldn't take her scraps either.
Don't be too available. Don't worry about if she is pitying you or trying to seem nice at this point just take her company on your terms and do not make her a priority. If you have time and want to do something then yes go for it. If you don't feel it then say no.
It feels weak if you give her an out or too many options.
You need to control your time spent as well. So just say no and you suggest another time. If she can't make it just say ok well we'll see then, later.
Girls tend to be more interested when you are not so available anyway.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Aug 15, 2022
 
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