Disabilities and dating...

This is not a trolling post, I'm actually looking for mature, honest opinions/experience.
Not to gloat but to educate and to understand.

Did you ever feel especially anxious when going on a first date?
How do you feel about dating now everything is online?

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canusernamebemyusername · M

I have been disabled at various time in life with a mental illness. So I always dread the getting to know my past stage. Online is a mixed bag. On the one hand it helps my social anxiety as there are less social cues to process. But the internet has also gotten completely unusable for dating pretty much ever since the iphone came out and increased the number of internet users. Now it's just a feeding ground for bullies, trolls and sadists. Yet I live in the middle of nowhere where the people are racist, sexist and every type of phobic there is and thus have nothing in common with anyone local. Thus leaving the internet as my only realistic option to meet like minded people that hopefully are not only decent but also understand that I have had bad times in life and might again some day as well.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@canusernamebemyusername I really appreciated this response.
It's important to take these things into consideration when dating.
I find that a lot of people don't actually know how to date these days.
You're situation is complex in the sense that perhaps you would need to be aware of your "symptoms" before they present themselves and that can be a good way of "warning" others you need to take some time out.
But you may also need to find a person that understands and doesn't put you under too much pressure.
I don't want to pry into your circumstances but I do think even from personal experience having someone in your life that you trust can really help.

canusernamebemyusername · M

@Mellowgirl Yeah. I tell people my hard limits if I get close enough to them. Like someone yesterday that I like wanted me to get drunk with them but I had to remind them I have alcoholism in my family. Plus I tried to put a positive spin on it by asking them if I was drunk who would take care of them then. lol
And I do tend to be super aware of myself. I have hypervigilance in my illness so the smallest thing I will notice. So it does act as a good warning. It just does it too well sometimes though.
But yeah having someone you can trust and even fall apart around and know they wont freak out or leave is really comforting.