Disabilities and dating...

@canusernamebemyusername I really appreciated this response.
It's important to take these things into consideration when dating.
I find that a lot of people don't actually know how to date these days.
You're situation is complex in the sense that perhaps you would need to be aware of your "symptoms" before they present themselves and that can be a good way of "warning" others you need to take some time out.
But you may also need to find a person that understands and doesn't put you under too much pressure.
I don't want to pry into your circumstances but I do think even from personal experience having someone in your life that you trust can really help.

@Mellowgirl Yeah. I tell people my hard limits if I get close enough to them. Like someone yesterday that I like wanted me to get drunk with them but I had to remind them I have alcoholism in my family. Plus I tried to put a positive spin on it by asking them if I was drunk who would take care of them then. lol
And I do tend to be super aware of myself. I have hypervigilance in my illness so the smallest thing I will notice. So it does act as a good warning. It just does it too well sometimes though.
But yeah having someone you can trust and even fall apart around and know they wont freak out or leave is really comforting.

@WhateverWorks
In all honesty I didn't think online dating was a thing...
I personally feel like it has become a bit of a scary breeding ground for some of the dregs of society...
And having come in contact with some of those individuals it has definitely had me wondering...
I do feel like perhaps this response has been a little judgmental.
I personally have never considered what the dating pool would be like if someone had a disability.
Knowing that in some cases depending on the individuals needs they may be encouraged to join clubs and groups where they are meeting people so I always presumed through those ventures they may meet someone like that.
Especially since people say its imperative to have hobbies and meet people that way.

Often the disability community struggles with isolation and dealing with other peoples able-ism. For this reason, it’s challenging for many persons with disabilities to fully participate in such groups, which are not designed to be accessible or necessarily compassionate, never mind readily accepting of you as just another person there like anybody else. There’s also a bunch of other barriers like commute and that SSI is below the poverty line, which makes having an outgoing social life somewhat difficult.

The Internet has made it easier for people with disabilities to connect with those who share their interests and will be understanding to their abilities as well as limitations. This is particularly helpful when it comes to dating because it gives the person with a disability The empowerment to disclose about their condition at a time they feel comfortable. Some people want to get it out of the way right away as part of the filtration process and some people want to give it a minute so that the non-disabled person has an opportunity to get them know them as a person foremost. Lots of non-disabled people have ablest attitudes to various degrees, unconscious and unconscious, negative, inspiration porn, caregiver perceptions etc. I hate to say it, but often even the nicest of non-disabled people is oblivious to their own ableism until only through mingling with other persons with disabilities do they realize the folly @Mellowgirl

@WhateverWorks fair enough

@exchrist you've answered if perfectly...
You've basically told me your worries and you know you'll be sick for another 30 years you're anxieties are not invalid given the situation.

@Mellowgirl its sick for 30 more years at least fyi

@SW-User I hope more excitedness...
Getting a date these days seems like a task in itself.

@Mellowgirl true dat...

@Mattypp sorry about that

@Mattypp seems a very touchy subject.
This is one of the few posts I've made that's had no response.

@SW-User that's actually a really lovely story.
Are they still together?
❤️
I have struggled to a very serious degree in terms of dating.
I meet people for various reason but I wear my heart on my sleeve and as a consequence, don't always meet the nicest of people.
Since online dating because I actively want to find the person for me, I am meeting a mixed bag.
As someone mentioned here, about sadists there more individuals especially online with a trolling mentality. I do wonder why society seems to be so immature.
I have had to do a lot of personal work to be able to feel confident to date, after an awful relationship/life circumstances.
I have met someone with a disability who didn't tell me until we met face to face.
It did catch me by surprise initially but we talked about it and I just accept him as he is.
He was very shy, and incredibly nervous after this so Instead of being sat opposite each other I suggested that we walk and talk.
It helped us to get to know each other better without the formal stare down.

I am seeing him again. So we'll see how things go.

@Bang5luts no but I have dyscalculia it has affected many aspects of my school life and I didn't ever know until 3 years ago

@Mellowgirl I was asking Because I have a physical impairment that limits me in many ways. But as far as dating goes Post pandemic, there is a slight decline for most people

@nevergiveup I'm not entirely sure u believe you. You have written this on my posts so many times it's actually starting to feel like trolling.

@Mellowgirl sorry i wont bother you again