Love & Attraction

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How do you all feel about a woman taking a man out on a date? As opposed to vice versa

This girl I always thought was cute messaged me & told me I'm handsome 😶

I tried to play cool & told her "well ask me on a date then, damn 🤷" & she actually asked me on a date 😮

but she told me to choose where we go & I was like "idk... You asked ME out" & I made her pick 🤣

I'm not sure how I'd feel if she legit came, picked me up, took me out, paid & everything 😂 I was half joking because I think I'd feel too out of place for that lol.
I still picked her up & we went half on everything (she insisted on it) but that was a couple months ago, so it's not someone I'm still dating at this moment.

But she still asks me out sometimes & she wants to pick me up, & actually be the one taking ME out. It feels so odd to me but my homie was just telling me "dude why don't you let her take you out? What's the deal, you feel like you don't deserve to be treated or what?"

That kinda made it make sense 🤔 Like why do us guys tend to feel weird about letting a woman take US out? I get it's kinda traditional but it also seems quite prideful.
Idk... I guess it just makes me feel like I'm just a scrub 🤷 on the passenger side of my best friends ride y'know. Its not about the control for me.. I just don't like feeling like a bum 😂

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Mamapolo2016 · F

It's just fine as long as she doesn't assume paying for dinner entitles her to other privileges later. 😂

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Nanori · F

@ChiefJustWalks (ʃƪ¬ ‿ ¬)

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Nanori · F

@empanadas ye ψ(｀∇ ´ )ψ

Stark

I was always confused be the dating roles growing up when it came to that topic. So many different ways that work for so many different people. So, I went through many stages/situations to try and figure out what worked best for me. And personally, what works best for me is taking turns with the check 🤷‍♀️. I do think guys do deserve to be treated and wine and dined similar to women. They pay for one date and I pay for the second and so on.

I’ve never been in a position to ask a guy out on a date, but if I were to 🤔 I can see myself willing to pay and treat him.

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JustGoneNow ·

@Stark remember how many fights I got into? I was a mess when I first came here. We both have chilled. Lol 😂

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@JustGoneNow I actually remember you too & you right 😂 but I always thought you were cool 👌

JustGoneNow ·

@ChiefJustWalks Aww. Cool. I used to go by Nothingness back in my fiestier days. ha ha.

NCCindy · 36-40, F

Hey... A out 9 years ago, I asked this guy out...

We've been very happily married now for 8 years.

Don't knock it

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@NCCindy oh I don't knock it 🤙

SW-User

damn i remember you saying you wanted a sugar mommy, guess you manifested it, like that song whatever you like but genders reverse

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ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@SW-User that would be most ideal 😌 my last ex consistently told me to get a sugar mama because this lady was offering me 2grand to sleep with me but I just couldn't do it.. ew 😬

SW-User

@ChiefJustWalks yeah these sugar ppl are predative asf Ig 2k was just the start, idk how to do that stuff without feeling like a wh/re, tbh you can take it up bc as a guy it must be easier

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@SW-User nah I'd still feel like a whore 😂 to me it wasn't about the amount of money, because 2k sounds fine to me. I just didn't wanna do it 🤷 my ex & my friends tried talking me into it & I wouldn't budge lol

BlueVeins · 22-25

Whoever wants to ask should ask, and whoever wants to pay should pay. Personally, I think separate checks is the best way to go since the person who asked the other out already took a social risk and shouldn't be punished for that. Tradition is for only the weakest of chuds, who aren't even tough enough to stand up to their dead ancestors.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@BlueVeins I kinda agree with the "whoever asks, pays" idea. I mean I've paid 9 times outta 10 but there have been times where I let them pay for drinks, or even let them pay half 🤷 even that feels slightly odd because I like to pay but I accept it because I appreciate that they wanna contribute. But I've never fully let someone pay for me 😅

SW-User

I mean this is 1953 so that's scandalous * clutches pearls *

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SW-User

@JustGoneNow it does and you told me 😂

JustGoneNow ·

@SW-User so gross 🤮

JustGoneNow ·

@SW-User that wasn’t clutching pearls, though. It was giving a pearl necklace.

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/4275411-Is-pearl-necklace-code-for-something

SW-User

I don’t really feel any kind of way, I’ve personally never asked a guy out on a date. (They always ask me first) I always tell them I can pay for myself, but they always insist on paying for me so I’m like ok thanks 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ I never expect anyone to pay for me tho, but it’s very much appreciated when they do. I wouldn’t mind doing the same for a guy, it’s all about the situation in my opinion. If they’re willing to do it for me then why can’t I for them sometimes? 😁

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@SW-User one of my best friends told me that exact same thing 👌 I get that though. I'm like that with even friendships
I don't go nowhere if I can't afford it myself because I always just expect to pay 🤷

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

I guess it just makes me feel like I'm just a scrub 🤷 on the passenger side of my best friends ride y'know.

Lmfao you're adorable. Go out with her dude, enjoy!

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Starcrossed thanks 😂 but I still see her sometimes it's always random lol

Oster1 · M

It's happened to me, many times. I can't remember, ever turning it down.

That's a big boy honor. Absolutely not being a scrub. Look at it as a true confidence opportunity. It's time to show class and style. enjoy. 😉

[media=https://youtu.be/FrLequ6dUdM]

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Oster1 hell yeah man thanks for that 👌 a real man knows where he stands regardless.

Also thanks for including the song 😂 it fits the message hilariously lol.. I'm playing the whole song rn

Oster1 · M

@ChiefJustWalks Me too! Love some TLC.

Exactly! Remember, you already have the advantage.

The secret is to play it cool. As you said, now, you know where you stand.

Be that elusive Gentleman, never taking anything for granted. Leave a generous tip, walk tall and smile. Confidence, my younger brother! Lots of muted and sincere confidence.😊

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Oster1 fasho 👌 I'm decent on confidence but yeah I just gotta put my pride aside & let somebody else pay 🤷 if she's lucky maybe I'll put out.. who knows

Eddiesolds · 61-69, M

I love it when im asked out. Man they arr serious about me not having to pay. Ive tried

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Eddiesolds that's how she tries to be 😂 but I'm like nope & I pay half regardless lol

Eddiesolds · 61-69, M

@ChiefJustWalks i dont even try any more. I think they like doing it. Im game. I kjow i get them back. Lol

Monday · F

I dont see anything wrong with her giving a dinner and drinks to a nice guy

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Monday you're sweet 🤗 but thank you

eyeno · M

I'd let her, I think its cool that she'd want to be with me.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@eyeno makes sense 🤔

WhateverWorks · 36-40

I think I’f have fun with it. You’re the one who initiated the idea. Only makes sense for you to roll with it and be open to a different kind of dynamic for laughs. You guys will probably have a good time. You can always take her out on The second date if it goes well.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@WhateverWorks good point 🤔 but we actually did go out that time & it was fun. We've been out a few more times but that's it. We still talk though & need to go out again

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Sounds like things are moving at a pretty good, healthy pace. If you can, try not to overthink it @ChiefJustWalks

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@WhateverWorks oh I don't lol rn we're still just friends who've slept together before 🤷 I don't think she wants more but idk 🤔 I'd consider it I suppose

SW-User

Sounds fine to me. I’ve experienced that before, back in college. Like you, it kinda started as a joke, but it ended up being fun. Of course after that I took her out. I think it’s normal for it seem awkward, but it doesn’t have to be.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@SW-User ayy good shit 🤙

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

I've only ever asked a girl on a date once. Ofher times, tbey have asked me. Lol

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ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@ChiefJustWalks L. Not at all. I just feel bad and think I have to say yes.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@ArminArlert damn bruh you don't gotta give in to things you don't wanna do.. but I feel ya

ArminArlert · 22-25, M

@ChiefJustWalks Yeah, I know. I just don't want to hurt anyone.

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

Except she’s hollering at you and not visa versa . Don’t go chasing waterfalls bro. Lol

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@AthrillatheHunt somewhat factual.. she's actually really cool & a single mother.. so she's really busy & hardly gets time to herself. But when she does she asks me what I'm up to lol

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

@ChiefJustWalks sounds like she authentically enjoys spending time w you .

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@AthrillatheHunt we always have such a good time together too 👌

LemonWorld · F

I do it 😅 i think it's nice and I feel powerful when I ask a guy 😂

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@LemonWorld applause 👏 i love it when women ask me because we don't get that much.. but I still pay 😂

LemonWorld · F

@ChiefJustWalks nuuuuu whoever asks has to pay 🤦🏽‍♀

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@LemonWorld I should really accept that. She was really trying to pay fully too but I guess it was really me who insisted on paying half 😂

itsok · 31-35, F

Being made to feel special or worthwhile doesnt make you a bum. I also like the scrub bit at the end 😁

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@itsok I think it's from guys being conditioned to be the providers, or the one doing the wooing. So when it's done to me my brain goes "but I can provide tho 🥺"

But thanks I knew someone would appreciate that 😉😅

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

You can have some fun but don't expect it to last.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@hippyjoe1955 I mean that's fine too though lol

hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M

@ChiefJustWalks It is entirely up to you two. I am just commenting that when a woman chases a man the relationship never lasts.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@hippyjoe1955 well I'm sure there's exceptions... but from my experience I'd say you're right 😂 but then again.. technically nothing has lasted because I'm still single now 🤔

Oster1 · M

@saragoodtimes And this is the ideal opportunity to NOT, be like most men.

Sit back, and play it, like a Shortstop. 😊😉

JustGoneNow ·

We flip a coin to see who gets to be the dude.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@JustGoneNow do you really? 😅

JustGoneNow ·

@ChiefJustWalks Naw, there is no dude. We’re both girls. That shit’s stupid. lol

saragoodtimes · F

not a good idea. most men put out on the first date

Nanori · F

New experience 😊

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Nanori that's what I'm thinking 🤔 but new experiences feel kinda awkward the first time lol

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

I think it's completely fine.
I don't think just because someone's a dude they have to pay for everything.
Also sidenote: Armenian families, it's usually an argument over who gets to pay the bills, everyone wants to pay lol.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@basilfawlty89 that's quite a difference but respectable 😂

Justenjoyit · 61-69, M

Times change, to be honest I dont see why women dont ask men out more often if thats what they want.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Justenjoyit fr though 🤷 a lot say they'd be willing to buy tbh most are maybe shy 😅 but no hate.. shits scary sometimes

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

There’s nothing wrong with that

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@iamonfire696 yis 😌

empanadas · 31-35, M

Not for me but I don't knock people for doing it

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@empanadas yeah it feels so odd to me.. last year when my car broke down for a week, I went on a date with my girl & I had her pick me up, but then I drove her car & took control 😂 even that felt odd lol

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