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Not sure on how to gauge the situation...

Began dating this guy & we hit off immedately... we both agreed we wnted to take it slow & talking nearly every day.... we had 2 dates but on the 2nd date we met around lunch time though the question of getting food wasn't discussed. He showed up eating a sandwich & said 'oh i was gonna ring if u wanted something from the shop' i thought well u didn't... conversation was flowing but he did pick up 3 or 4 calls from his son (i know he son will always come 1st & wudn't stand in the way of that) but apparently there was a situation at hand at the time so didn't think anything of it.

We both are stying with our corresponding families & have discussed somewhat on the struggles with that.

He seems obsessed with sport which reminded me of my ex's obsession with video games which is a kind of red flag for me....

He also said we weren't serious yet (i wasn't thinking it as after 2 dates) but he asked me not to sleep around!! I'm not chatting to anyone else at the minute anyway....

Anyway cut to Xmas, I knew he'd be busy with his family & i knew he wudn't be able to talk much but we discussed about meeting up over the break. Unfortunately i got covid (I'm fine now) but he didn't really ask how i was doing or how i was getting on with isolating but i was asking him how he was getting on with his family over the brek. Didn't seem he was taking an intersst. Also i didn't ant to interfere with him time with his family

One day over the brek i was suffering from depression & snapped & did send him an insensitive message. I immediately apologised for it & he acceptted it. But then said he needed some space until after the New Year as he had a lot of family stuff going on. But the following day he was still sending me memes etc...

I was getting confused with the mixed message.... I apologised to him again & said I'd give him the space he needed...

Feel i am in limbo now.... I am willing to overlook the phone calls & the food thing on the 2nd date but unsure if I shld hold out if he'll message or not...

I am keeping busy & not checking me phone if he has messaged but in a way i feel he wasn't taking an interest or maybe just upset i sent him that insensitive message. Maybe he does need the space but felt it too soon for something that wasn't serious yet. before I sent that message I did say i'd message a few days later but didn't seem to like it...

Sorry for the rant but should I just forget about him?
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
You had two dates and he set a restriction asking you not to sleep with anyone. Then he doesn’t bother to send any kind of holiday note wishing you a Happy Christmas. You reach out struggling and he wants space.

You had a nice couple dates…move on. He is insecure and will not be able to give you what you desire in a relationship.
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
And remember this is just my opinion from reading what you wrote.
He is self-centered and you need more than that.
You wrote about the insensitive things he was doing but yet said you could overlook those
This is when people try the hardest to be on their good behavior is in the first few days
If he is acting like this now how do you think he will act in 2 years
He didn't want to commit but yet didn't want you doing anything with anybody else either
He wants his cake and eat it too. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't seeing someone else the whole time asking you not to.
If you are getting all these red flags already you should probably cut and run.
Just my opinion
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@Dainbramadge yea think ur right....
Pherick · 41-45, M
I mean, you have been on two dates are you already feeling enough anxiety and existential dread from this relationship you need to post online for advice?

I just can't imagine this smoothing itself out and everything being peachy from here on it. Sounds like he isn't that interested and that you should drop him and move on.

Don't get involved with someone who brings too much drama after just 2 dates.
Bushmanoz · 61-69, M
@Pherick this
Fairydust · F
Don’t message him, go on other dates, sounds a bit uninterested in you.
Not a great start. 😏
Oberon1 · 61-69, M
Usually, when you meet "the one", it hits you like a lightning bolt. He doesn't really sound like much fun to me to tell you the truth. A touch inconsiderate or maybe just standoffish.
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
He sounds married and wants you as his side chick when it suits him while expecting you to be faithful to him.Ditch him and move on.
WhateverWorks · 36-40
Seems like a lot of butting heads and not being on the same page so early on. I agree with the observations below that you’ve already noticed him demonstrating self-centered behaviors when you’re first starting to date. That’s usually the point when you’re supposed to bow out, not invest more time/energy hoping you can persuade them to behave some other way that comes naturally to them.
SW-User
Girl if he puts you in all this turmoil it's not worth it. I'd move on if it was me.
FrozenWasteland · 61-69, M
Yes. I think you should just forget about him. There are enough orange (if maybe not exactly red) flags here to officiate a football season.

Sounds like a very insecure, self-centered guy to me.
SW-User
@FrozenWasteland Hi my Wookiee!
FrozenWasteland · 61-69, M
@SW-User Hi Zenni. Happy New Year.
SW-User
@FrozenWasteland Happy new year sweetie!
SW-User
Yes, forget him. Nothing about your description makes him sound worthwhile, and why get so attached after 2 dates?? You can surely do better.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@SW-User I wasn't thinking it was serious or anything... just curious on his behaviour...
SW-User
@BondGirl84 His behaviour is awful.
Mikeawesome1986 · 36-40, M
I haven't seen that many red flags since the Soviet Union disbanded. I would cut your losses there and find someone else.
Don’t even hesitate, it’s New Year, get out there girl and find yourself a better man 😁
notsure · 56-60, M
Move on to someone who is invested in you babe
i think if he doesn’t close the space he asked for really soon, he is not worth it. him coming to your date eating food was inconsiderate and shows his future behavior.
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@deathfairy not since yesterday morning... he said on Thursday he needed space & to leave things to the new year... on Friday he kept messaging memes but I also sent an apology again about the insensitive message I sent he said thanks & then nothing...
it is up to you to decide what your boundaries and limits are. we accept the love that we think we deserve. best of luck. you deserve to be treated with respect. @BondGirl84
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@deathfairy thank u... will have a think about my next move... thanks again... lots to ponder...
ExtremeNext · 31-35
You sound very hard to please
BondGirl84 · 36-40, F
@ExtremeNext so I shld be ok with him making calls on a date & not making an effort... lower my standards shld I?
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
Move on. He asked you not to sleep around but then couldn’t be bothered to wish you a merry Christmas and make sure you were okay after getting COVID.

 
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