News Letter on a random SW member:

Xtra! Xtra! Read all about it!!!

Step right up and feast your eyes on the latest news about SOMEONE THAT WANTS NOBODY TO KNOW ABOUT HIM but still LIVES EVERYONE AT THE SAME TIME
What a PARADOX this one lives, aye?

News headline 1:
A new rumor? Could it be? Could the SW nomad finally stop hijacking accounts?
Keep yer eyes peeled to notice the drifter in the cut

You'll recognize him cuz he's weird >:v

News headline 2:
Turmoil caused over a chocolate bar!!!
And Walmart didn't have outdoors garbage cans. What a DOOSIE!!! (Whatever that means)

News headline 3:
A new situation unfolds with the nomad being on forced vacation!!!

News headline 4:
Headlines may have returned

News headline 5:
Uhhhhh.... I just really wanted to make it to 5 .-.
Cuz like

Bruh :v
Das 5. It really 5 forreal
Gimme cookie