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Oh no, I forgot my wallet, oh no, that guy has my wallet, help, police, yes officer, there you are, I would like to report a theft, this other police officer guy just stole my wallet, and it has all of my illegal substances in it. And also please don’t tell anyone this but I really wish I had a girlfriend. But keep quiet about that because I don’t want my mom to know, she would kill me. She thinks I already have a girlfriend, and if she finds out I have been lying this whole time I will have to run away from home. And then I would really miss my wallet, even more than I currently miss it because that police officer guy took it. Do you have a sister I could possibly date? Ha ha ha haha ha. Just joking. You are hella ugly. Wouldn’t want to date anyone who looked like you. But also I am so lonely. So tell your sister that maybe a possible booty call. Or maybe even your mother. I am so lonely, oh sweet gum drops what have I done with my life!? Begins to cry and weep on floor. Oh hue look, a penny…