I was born and raised on the Canadian side of the 49th Parallel, except it was really the north side of the 43rd Parallel which we in Canada call "The Deep South".
No, we don't play banjos on our front porches at sundown and no, we don't eat grits with our meals either. In fact, you cannot even buy grits in Canada if you tried. But of little known fact, grits and handguns are not actually legal to buy in Canada, just for the record.
Truth is, there are no grits stores on the street corners in Canada and for good reason, nor are there handgun shops on the street corners in Canada either, but for lesser good reason.
For the record, grits are more dangerous to a child's health than is a child playing with a loaded American-made handgun.
The official most southerly 'southern border' of Canada with the USA lies at 42.5 degrees north latitude which means I was born and raised 30 miles north of that imaginary line which is marked down the center of Lake Erie on a map and which defines the Canada/US border.
From my bedroom window of my parent's house, I could see Cleveland Ohio on a clear day or night because that's where the coal smoke was always coming from, summer or winter... and quite frankly still does!
Being only a 20 minute drive to the border crossing at Detroit, we use to go over to the States to buy cheap stuff, then bring it home and tell all our friends that we went shopping in a foreign country over the weekend which automatically elevated our social status to one of 'jet setters', though we always went there in my Dad's pickup truck and not technically by jet.
Even prior to Trump 1.0 and post 9-11, crossing the border into the US felt like we were entering the Russian Embassy... where the doors would swing one way to maybe let you in, but definitely not out.
It really wasn't that way in reality despite that kind of ambiance hanging so very present in the air at all times. It was the tone and the arrogant attitude of minimum wage-earning American authorities that always left us with the feeling that if we make one false move, they'd detain us in wall shackles or send us back north to Canada against our will. Did it ever happen? No.
Today, I would not venture a day-trip into the USA for a quick shopping trip, even if my life depended on it. Even the Canadian Travel Bureau recommends that Canadians avoid all travel to anywhere in the USA unless it is absolutely necessary as business travel.
...and if you simply MUST travel to the USA, they say DO NOT take your cell phone with you, but instead buy a burner phone in the USA and use it while in the USA.
...and DO NOT take your personal laptop with you across the Canada/US border either they say, or else it WILL be scrutinized for any possible negative rhetoric you've previously engaged in against the United States of America.
This means you will have to disclose your passwords for your cellphone and your laptop to American border security when they ask you for it.... and for the record, they won't let you just enter your password and then hand them your electronic device for inspection... Oh no... they want you to give them your passwords and THEY will enter your password into your device if they choose to ...and they will do this in a side-room adjacent to where you are standing.
For those Americans out there who've been brainwashed since childhood into believing that you live in the greatest country on earth, believe me when I say, you absolutely DO NOT.
