The Aliens are Friends
A Brazilian psychic has caused a stir ahead of Scotland's crucial World Cup clash with Brazil on 24th June after claiming a giant UFO mothership will appear above the stadium during the match and begin abducting players and supporters.
According to the dream prediction, the enormous craft will hover silently over the ground before beaming hundreds of people skyward in what she described as "the largest extraterrestrial contact event in human history."
Scottish fans, however, remain unconvinced.
Many have pointed out that Scotland have already had two penalties denied against Morocco, and now apparently have to deal with an alien invasion as well.
Honestly, they'll try anything to stop Scotland qualifying....First the referees, now the extraterrestrials.
A serious question had to be asked about whether the aliens have properly researched who they are planning to abduct, because if a UFO does beam up the Tartan Army, there is every chance the mothership won't be leaving anytime soon.
Approximately ten minutes after the abduction, the giant craft would probably descend back towards Earth. The landing ramp would slowly lower. A burst of chanting and singing would echo from inside.
Then out would march hundreds of shirtless Scotland fans shoulder to shoulder with aliens, all singing, dancing and sharing cans together.
The visitors would be taught the words to Yes Sir, I Can Boogie, introduced to beer and whisky, handed a Scotland top, and persuaded to join a pub crawl before they had even completed their first intergalactic survey mission.
If anyone's making first contact with alien life, it has to be the Tartan Army, by the end of the night the aliens will be wearing kilts and asking where they can get a traffic cone.
Who knows after meeting the Scottish they may never leave, because once they've experienced a Scottish away day, there's a very likely chance they may simply be too drunk to fly home
P
61-69, M
