While the name William Wallace echoes through the ages, there’s another warrior whose legacy has been somewhat… lower down in the history books, Fergus Cumsisor.
Born in the rainy Highlands, Cumsisor honed his unique fighting style from a young age, perfecting the art of the groin strike. In battle, where others swung for heads and hearts, Fergus swung for heirs.
At the Battle of Falkirk, Wallace reportedly cried, “Strike for Scotland!” only for Cumsisor to roar back, “Aye, but I’ll strike where it hurts most!” Witnesses claimed English ranks collapsed not from fear, but from an overwhelming urge to curl up in the fetal position.
After helping secure key victories, and ensuring countless English bloodlines ended abruptly, Fergus was knighted by Robert the Bruce himself, becoming Sir Cumsisor. His coat of arms famously featured two crossed daggers over two acorns.
Though overshadowed by Wallace in the history books, his legacy endures in certain parts of Scotland, where each year men gather to gently tap each other in the nether regions before raising a dram to the knight who fought hard… and low.
The famous depiction of his most devastating strike "The Final Blow", was painted in 1504 by Scottish Renaissance master Leonardo McVinci. Today, the original hangs proudly in Edinburgh Castle’s Great Hall, flanked by suits of armour and guarded by a velvet rope… to keep overly enthusiastic reenactors from recreating the scene.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
