my dad passed away this morning at the age of 68 after a short bitter battle with cancer.... ugh, i didnt even get a chance to say a final goodbye, 😭 [I Am Chinese]

we all knew this would happen eventually but fs there was so much still left unsaid, ive literally been crying all morning.... he never let on how much time he had left and was in good spirits when he went to bed last night, but this morning he didnt wake up, and now im never gonna get the chance to talk to him ever again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭... been awake since 6am, trying with not much luck to break the news to the rest of my family who all live away, my sister lives in america, its like 5am there, she didnt pick up when i tried to call her, i left her a voicemail, its grim but what else could i do?... its a bad day all round tbh, gonna have to entertain the relatives all day today and organise a wake... wtf am i meant to do? ive never even been to a wake before.... utterly gutted today.... defo one of the worst days of my life tbh

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Allelse · 36-40, M

I'm so sorry buddy!!! I lost someone to cancer once it hurt like fucking hell, it hurt like fuck. I'm sorry he didn't get to have a few more years, but when you die you brain kicks in some pretty good fucking feelings and he'd have drifted away like he was on a warm cloud while sitting in an even warmer bath. He's at peace. It's easy for the dead in a lot of ways, easier for them then us, :) They get to breeze over that line while we're stuck behind and I am so sorry. But you take the time to grieve, you don't be hard on yourself and you be kind to yourself, be loving to yourself and grieve. It will hurt, but you take the time, al the time you need. As for funerals and wakes. I don't like either, so you take the time to look after yourself before worrying about goddamn relatives. I see you never got to talk to him again, so maybe you need to have your own little funeral for him, in your own private place. You eat your favorite meal, then you sit in a place that makes you feel safe, maybe with a photo of him and you talk to him. You don't even have to say goodbye, maybe you just need to have one last chat with your dad. :)