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2cool4school · 46-50, F
@Arorin I like music and art but I’m just not that talented and learning anything in this much pain is like trying to drink from a firehose.
Scuba isn’t disinteresting but I live at 7800 ft elevation and it’s not the safest thing to do. Plus it’s often used in place of drugs as people get hooked on the nitrogen narcosis effect.
I just don’t think I know how to have fun unless I feel like I’m using my entire abilities and skillset because I was doing the sports I loved and lived for and I didn’t want anyone else to see me and think I wasn’t doing things well enough to justify being pro. I didn’t have a lucrative career but I felt like it was just what I was made to do. I have or had the ability to do things with my adrenaline pumping and my ADD wasn’t a hinderance when I was doing anything that could kill me or severely injure me. But it’s actually when I’m alone and doing something that I have the worst injuries because I’m pushing myself to go faster than when I’m with others. Idk why but I don’t think I do anything that I enjoy doing to try and impress anyone else. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment from something that is at the “edge of the envelope” of what’s possible for me. My mom used to always say that I’m pushing the edge of the envelope and I would say that nothing is going to happen if I don’t push myself and then I’d have to eat my words when I’d tell her that I know how my body performs and responds and I know what I’m capable of and what I’m not and what the conditions will allow as well as my equipment etc. One day I left her house at 36 and I went to skate a local spot and she didn’t think it was a good idea I told her that I knew my board like it was an extension of my body. I tore my ACL and a kind elderly couple who saw me limping and bleeding stopped to ask if I needed any help and I felt like I didn’t and I could continue to walk a little over a mile back to my parents house. I didn’t have my phone because I had broken 2 phones in less than a year from crashing with them in my pack or on my person. My mom still sees the same couple out walking and she says that they always ask about how I’m doing. They explained that I want to be able to walk and enjoy life when I’m their age (83) and I didn’t have the heart to explain to them that I’ve already lost 10-15 years from my age expectancy due to my chronic pain syndrome. I don’t want to live like I won’t grow old because then it’s bound to come true. But it’s just a reality that my pain puts a lot of added stress on my heart and therefore it’s just going to wear out faster. I do eat as well as I possibly can when I do feel hungry. I know my diet was a big factor in my performance and I stopped eating fast food and drinking soda at 19. I don’t usually eat much from restaurants unless it’s a special occasion. My mom has always been a health food advocate and she didn’t even allow us to have sugar until we were in our early teens unless we were at a birthday party we didn’t even realize what we were missing. My mom realized that it wasn’t going to be too beneficial to us if we didn’t have a little bit of sugar and we eventually got a microwave when she went back to working full time. She taught us to make things from scratch because of the ingredients in things. We avoided preservatives and ate only wheat bread and stuff that were super foods whole and health food in general. We didn’t even taste fast food until we were in our early teens and only because we were traveling and it just wasn’t easy for her to make sandwiches and stuff. But I’m so glad that I was shown that way before I was grown up and my mom is an amazing cook and she’ll make something gourmet and then she goes for flavor in addition to being a healthier way to make something but her real strength is making stuff from scratch and her recipes are extensive but she often makes stuff from memory and it’s amazing to me how it always tastes so similar even if she doesn’t think so. I believe that it was one of the best gifts that I could have ever gotten from my parents and my sister and I are going to have to find a way to keep her traditions going.
Scuba isn’t disinteresting but I live at 7800 ft elevation and it’s not the safest thing to do. Plus it’s often used in place of drugs as people get hooked on the nitrogen narcosis effect.
I just don’t think I know how to have fun unless I feel like I’m using my entire abilities and skillset because I was doing the sports I loved and lived for and I didn’t want anyone else to see me and think I wasn’t doing things well enough to justify being pro. I didn’t have a lucrative career but I felt like it was just what I was made to do. I have or had the ability to do things with my adrenaline pumping and my ADD wasn’t a hinderance when I was doing anything that could kill me or severely injure me. But it’s actually when I’m alone and doing something that I have the worst injuries because I’m pushing myself to go faster than when I’m with others. Idk why but I don’t think I do anything that I enjoy doing to try and impress anyone else. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment from something that is at the “edge of the envelope” of what’s possible for me. My mom used to always say that I’m pushing the edge of the envelope and I would say that nothing is going to happen if I don’t push myself and then I’d have to eat my words when I’d tell her that I know how my body performs and responds and I know what I’m capable of and what I’m not and what the conditions will allow as well as my equipment etc. One day I left her house at 36 and I went to skate a local spot and she didn’t think it was a good idea I told her that I knew my board like it was an extension of my body. I tore my ACL and a kind elderly couple who saw me limping and bleeding stopped to ask if I needed any help and I felt like I didn’t and I could continue to walk a little over a mile back to my parents house. I didn’t have my phone because I had broken 2 phones in less than a year from crashing with them in my pack or on my person. My mom still sees the same couple out walking and she says that they always ask about how I’m doing. They explained that I want to be able to walk and enjoy life when I’m their age (83) and I didn’t have the heart to explain to them that I’ve already lost 10-15 years from my age expectancy due to my chronic pain syndrome. I don’t want to live like I won’t grow old because then it’s bound to come true. But it’s just a reality that my pain puts a lot of added stress on my heart and therefore it’s just going to wear out faster. I do eat as well as I possibly can when I do feel hungry. I know my diet was a big factor in my performance and I stopped eating fast food and drinking soda at 19. I don’t usually eat much from restaurants unless it’s a special occasion. My mom has always been a health food advocate and she didn’t even allow us to have sugar until we were in our early teens unless we were at a birthday party we didn’t even realize what we were missing. My mom realized that it wasn’t going to be too beneficial to us if we didn’t have a little bit of sugar and we eventually got a microwave when she went back to working full time. She taught us to make things from scratch because of the ingredients in things. We avoided preservatives and ate only wheat bread and stuff that were super foods whole and health food in general. We didn’t even taste fast food until we were in our early teens and only because we were traveling and it just wasn’t easy for her to make sandwiches and stuff. But I’m so glad that I was shown that way before I was grown up and my mom is an amazing cook and she’ll make something gourmet and then she goes for flavor in addition to being a healthier way to make something but her real strength is making stuff from scratch and her recipes are extensive but she often makes stuff from memory and it’s amazing to me how it always tastes so similar even if she doesn’t think so. I believe that it was one of the best gifts that I could have ever gotten from my parents and my sister and I are going to have to find a way to keep her traditions going.
Arorin · M
@2cool4school i grew up on a farm and mostly ate pretty good but when i went to war the stuff they fed us was so bad. The best i could do would be grab either a chocolate bar, poptart or cliff bar. Ill throw up if i eat another cliff bar, but i do remember i got addicted to sweets.
2cool4school · 46-50, F
@Arorin it’s easy to find rewards in food that’s sweet but I feel like I don’t have to be as strict as possible I just have to put the best stuff in me most of the time and avoid the worst stuff (fast food artificial ingredients especially when it’s part of how they are flavored and sugary soda and candy as well as general snack foods being the most common and if I do eat something that has natural ingredients but maybe isn’t the most healthy (I’m thinking about BLT sandwiches and cheeseburgers are probably a good example of my own personal favorites) I at least know that I have consumed something that has natural and organic ingredients. I avoid certain things made by the big bad food corporations like Kraft or Frito-Lay and if I do eat potato chips it’s from a company that is focusing on using the best ingredients. I used to love candy and sweets and I feel like not getting them as a younger child made me overindulge as a teen but I’m just glad that by 19/20 I was aware that they were not going to help me get the most out of my body.