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Kaetana · 56-60, F
@LadyGrace thanks for pointing that out, once I returned I spotted the typo
. It’s good to know you accepted rejection without it bothering you. If you don’t mind me asking did you manage to do this?
At various stages up until around age 15 , being rejected to a degree from my mother bothered me somewhat. But then after that age, as I matured I realised that had things been different I would not have gained the emotional and mental strengths I needed to see me safely through life.
Also having children of my own I had a clear idea of the unconditional love style of would need for all of my life.
Far better for me to know this than they .
. It’s good to know you accepted rejection without it bothering you. If you don’t mind me asking did you manage to do this?
At various stages up until around age 15 , being rejected to a degree from my mother bothered me somewhat. But then after that age, as I matured I realised that had things been different I would not have gained the emotional and mental strengths I needed to see me safely through life.
Also having children of my own I had a clear idea of the unconditional love style of would need for all of my life.
Far better for me to know this than they .
This message was deleted by its author.
Kaetana · 56-60, F
@LadyGrace (huge hugs) 🫂 thank you so much for returning to this post & leaving such a considered response.
The detail that just jumps out to me , is that you took the time to study ‘why that relationship went wrong. Understanding the role you both played he the Narcissist you the beguiled victim.
Which was ultra important to ensure it would not happen to you again.
What a lot of women fail to understand is that most Men have a predatory nature. As nice as some of them may be , it’s an innate trait ,they can’t help it .
Each new woman they encounter is going to assessed as potential victim, or potential mate. Depending on his emotional status he may just be looking for strictly one or the other.
This is why when a woman is new to a dating site or a forum, such as this the predatory males on the hunt will DM to find out if she’s a potential victim ( and most women are) ☹
Victim mentality identified then comes the requests for naughty photos. He might get lucky very quickly he might not… and the list goes on the demands can and very do escalate.
The ‘potential victim mentality ‘is sadly innate in around 99% of women simply because we are wired to seek & give love & for some women worst still ‘ attention’
& if she finds the man attractive his job is sadly 3/4 done & dusted,
Now ‘the lies’ in most circumstances ( not all)
a man shouldn’t really be blamed for lying .
Why? Because sadly lies are often an essential tool for men, they use them to gain the upper hand, change the dynamics and achieve the end goal, not just with women but with other men too.
It’s us woman who need to be more discerning. If the question is important to us then let him prove that he is telling the truth.
The funny thing is Narcissists tend to avoid me like the plague 😄 if it’s online they DM & after giving me there very best repertoire. A few minutes later they realise they aren’t getting
no-a -thing and make a sharp exit 😂
Although the truth be told I did allow myself to get drawn in by one in particular, he was very good ,
I later found out that he did it for a living . But even then I was having such a good time I immersed myself in the experience.
He was a lot of fun. But then when I realised
That I truly had to put my sensible hat on . I started to tell a few lies. Then he realised he had received his very own medicine 💊 been kicked up the jacksy and out the front.
He was flabbergasted, that he got played in the end. “How very dareI” ? 😀
The real message here is sadly there are some awful people Men & Women walking this Earth when we walk with God by our side we will always ALWAYS be gifted discernment. Use this wisely you will see the flags & ultimately that person will be removed.
May god continue to bless you my sister Amen
🙏🏽
The detail that just jumps out to me , is that you took the time to study ‘why that relationship went wrong. Understanding the role you both played he the Narcissist you the beguiled victim.
Which was ultra important to ensure it would not happen to you again.
What a lot of women fail to understand is that most Men have a predatory nature. As nice as some of them may be , it’s an innate trait ,they can’t help it .
Each new woman they encounter is going to assessed as potential victim, or potential mate. Depending on his emotional status he may just be looking for strictly one or the other.
This is why when a woman is new to a dating site or a forum, such as this the predatory males on the hunt will DM to find out if she’s a potential victim ( and most women are) ☹
Victim mentality identified then comes the requests for naughty photos. He might get lucky very quickly he might not… and the list goes on the demands can and very do escalate.
The ‘potential victim mentality ‘is sadly innate in around 99% of women simply because we are wired to seek & give love & for some women worst still ‘ attention’
& if she finds the man attractive his job is sadly 3/4 done & dusted,
Now ‘the lies’ in most circumstances ( not all)
a man shouldn’t really be blamed for lying .
Why? Because sadly lies are often an essential tool for men, they use them to gain the upper hand, change the dynamics and achieve the end goal, not just with women but with other men too.
It’s us woman who need to be more discerning. If the question is important to us then let him prove that he is telling the truth.
The funny thing is Narcissists tend to avoid me like the plague 😄 if it’s online they DM & after giving me there very best repertoire. A few minutes later they realise they aren’t getting
no-a -thing and make a sharp exit 😂
Although the truth be told I did allow myself to get drawn in by one in particular, he was very good ,
I later found out that he did it for a living . But even then I was having such a good time I immersed myself in the experience.
He was a lot of fun. But then when I realised
That I truly had to put my sensible hat on . I started to tell a few lies. Then he realised he had received his very own medicine 💊 been kicked up the jacksy and out the front.
He was flabbergasted, that he got played in the end. “How very dareI” ? 😀
The real message here is sadly there are some awful people Men & Women walking this Earth when we walk with God by our side we will always ALWAYS be gifted discernment. Use this wisely you will see the flags & ultimately that person will be removed.
May god continue to bless you my sister Amen
🙏🏽
@Kaetana
Oh I know all about that. I can spot them a mile away. I've always known that, actually. I've always had that gift. I noticed that from a very young age. I could write a book about red flags. They need to get a new strategy because the old ones are embarrassingly outdated.
I don't buy for a minute that they can't help it. They know exactly what they're doing. They know how to treat women. It's just that they don't want to, some of them. I know exactly how they size women up. But I think we need to give women a little more.. . in fact a lot more credit than that. We are not stupid. Some are so egotistic, they might look at women that way, but then they find out differently, very quickly. I find these type men very easy to spot. They're so obvious. This was not the case with this guy. His personality was different. I would have been fine if he hadn't just lied to me. I wasn't interested in dating at the time. I'm not one to be taken over by sweet talking men. You can spot them a mile away and no immediately what they're after. I wasn't wanting to date. I wanted a companion friend but I had not seen anyone since 2005 and this was a strictly platonic relationship. The only reason I hooked up with him was because he did seem very nice and he had a great reputation, so I thought he would make a nice friend. It's hard to explain. I know people pretty well. As a retired legal secretary I came in contact with all types of people. And yeah.... I don't have a problem here spotting narcissists. They're super easy and obvious to spot. I think you give men too much credit when it comes to their prowess. They're not as slick as they think they are and there's plenty of women on this site that can spot them very easily.
What a lot of women fail to understand is that most Men have a predatory nature. As nice as some of them may be , it’s an innate trait ,they can’t help it .
Each new woman they encounter is going to assessed as potential victim, or potential mate. Depending on his emotional status he may just be looking for strictly one or the other.
Each new woman they encounter is going to assessed as potential victim, or potential mate. Depending on his emotional status he may just be looking for strictly one or the other.
Oh I know all about that. I can spot them a mile away. I've always known that, actually. I've always had that gift. I noticed that from a very young age. I could write a book about red flags. They need to get a new strategy because the old ones are embarrassingly outdated.
I don't buy for a minute that they can't help it. They know exactly what they're doing. They know how to treat women. It's just that they don't want to, some of them. I know exactly how they size women up. But I think we need to give women a little more.. . in fact a lot more credit than that. We are not stupid. Some are so egotistic, they might look at women that way, but then they find out differently, very quickly. I find these type men very easy to spot. They're so obvious. This was not the case with this guy. His personality was different. I would have been fine if he hadn't just lied to me. I wasn't interested in dating at the time. I'm not one to be taken over by sweet talking men. You can spot them a mile away and no immediately what they're after. I wasn't wanting to date. I wanted a companion friend but I had not seen anyone since 2005 and this was a strictly platonic relationship. The only reason I hooked up with him was because he did seem very nice and he had a great reputation, so I thought he would make a nice friend. It's hard to explain. I know people pretty well. As a retired legal secretary I came in contact with all types of people. And yeah.... I don't have a problem here spotting narcissists. They're super easy and obvious to spot. I think you give men too much credit when it comes to their prowess. They're not as slick as they think they are and there's plenty of women on this site that can spot them very easily.
Kaetana · 56-60, F
@LadyGrace I don’t give anyone credit which they haven’t earned. I haven’t got anything against Men, because I’ve honestly never met ‘the bad guy’ never had to deal with one.
The Narcissist I spoke of was a complex case . He had elements to his personality, where he trusted me & truly sought some form of companionship with me.
I considered this and was prepared to be a companion to him also. But then he blurred the lines .
& thought he might be able to get away with a little game play. That’s when I beat him at his game and shut him down & out.
I have zero tolerance for it.
Also we will very likely have to agree to disagree on your statement
A lot of women aren’t exactly ‘ stupid’ I think that description is harsh. The word I choose is gullible, overly’ trusting’
Predatory has a Man may be inside of most men exists ‘the Saint and the Sinner’
Who you are introduced to will depend on what he’s looking for when he approaches you & what he finds.
It’s no more complex than that.
The Narcissist I spoke of was a complex case . He had elements to his personality, where he trusted me & truly sought some form of companionship with me.
I considered this and was prepared to be a companion to him also. But then he blurred the lines .
& thought he might be able to get away with a little game play. That’s when I beat him at his game and shut him down & out.
I have zero tolerance for it.
Also we will very likely have to agree to disagree on your statement
. But I think we need to give women a little more.. . in fact a lot more credit than that. We are not stupid.
A lot of women aren’t exactly ‘ stupid’ I think that description is harsh. The word I choose is gullible, overly’ trusting’
Predatory has a Man may be inside of most men exists ‘the Saint and the Sinner’
Who you are introduced to will depend on what he’s looking for when he approaches you & what he finds.
It’s no more complex than that.
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