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So, What's up with God?

I'm a Christian and I love Jesus. I'm just so confused right now. Where is God when all hell brakes loose? Does he just choose this person to heal and that one to suffer? Please don't say if you have the faith of a mustard seed... Or pray Harder but what thoughts do you have on this?
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Renaci · 36-40
"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things."

This is a full admission and just one example of why the Gnostic Christians considered Yahweh a false God. He had none of the loving traits of Jesus but was a vain and vengeful monster that Jesus came to save us from.
Of course the early church literally killed the Gnostics off and then went on to rule the western world for the next thousand years.
So you might take 2000 years of religious propaganda with a grain of salt. You can be Christian and believe in Jesus but that belief doesn't require you to also believe everything else.