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ProphetOfFarblesnozz · 51-55, M
Fool! You have been the victim of a grand deception!
Ymehpsalb 2:1-6
1. And when Farblesnozz turned His face from the followers of Yahweh, who was really Gangleslotte, they felt the cold and fear of His absence. They fought many wars over many centuries, in their fear and ignorance. 2. And Gangleslotte saw their hatred, and called it love. He encouraged his followers to kill any who would not follow him as they did. 3. But there were some who saw the truth of Farblesnozz, in spite of Gangleslotte's clever lies. And Gangleslotte saw that all his cleverness and deception would come undone if his enemies were not silenced. 4. And so it was that Farblesnozz, disguised once again as Yahweh, came to Earth, and impregnated a woman, Mary. 5. And after he defiled her, he appeared before her in the guise of an angel, and lied, saying, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High." 6. And with this deception, Gangleslotte created the false and blasphemous religion known as Christianity.
Thus it is written in the Holy and Perfect Gliberoo. Therefore, it is true.
Ymehpsalb 2:1-6
1. And when Farblesnozz turned His face from the followers of Yahweh, who was really Gangleslotte, they felt the cold and fear of His absence. They fought many wars over many centuries, in their fear and ignorance. 2. And Gangleslotte saw their hatred, and called it love. He encouraged his followers to kill any who would not follow him as they did. 3. But there were some who saw the truth of Farblesnozz, in spite of Gangleslotte's clever lies. And Gangleslotte saw that all his cleverness and deception would come undone if his enemies were not silenced. 4. And so it was that Farblesnozz, disguised once again as Yahweh, came to Earth, and impregnated a woman, Mary. 5. And after he defiled her, he appeared before her in the guise of an angel, and lied, saying, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High." 6. And with this deception, Gangleslotte created the false and blasphemous religion known as Christianity.
Thus it is written in the Holy and Perfect Gliberoo. Therefore, it is true.
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ProphetOfFarblesnozz · 51-55, M
@SW-User I have proven definitively that "Jesus" and Yahweh" are nothing more than a deception by Gangleslotte! For so it is written in the Holy and Perfect Gliberoo, written by Farblesnozz Himself! Do you call Farblesnozz a liar!?
SW-User
@ProphetOfFarblesnozz Look at the first ten verses of Galatians and think again.
ProphetOfFarblesnozz · 51-55, M
@SW-User Why would I look at your so-called sacred book, when my genuinely sacred book says it is a lie?
Ymehpsalb 1:1-8
1. Now Gangleslotte was jealous of Farblesnozz, for His creations adored Him. And so he disguised himself in white robe and beard, and deceived the people, saying, 2. "Behold! I am Yahweh, your creator! Abandon this worship of Farblesnozz and follow me instead! I alone can save you from destruction!"
3. And Farblesnozz was enraged, for His children began to abandon Him and worship Gangleslotte in his guise as Yahweh. 4. So Farblesnozz created the foul realm of Snazzlekhil, which is called Schmickleton. And He made the Trolls to oversee the great dirt mines, the most useless place in all of creation.
5. And Farblesnozz called upon the man Streborbob, and told him, "Go unto the masses, and tell them of Yahweh's deception, for he is Gangleslotte, the author of evil! 6. And tell them that all who follow Yahweh will shovel dirt for all eternity!"
7. And Streborbob did as Farblesnozz commanded, and told the worshippers of Yahweh what he had said, but they scoffed and mocked at him! "Farblesnozz is a lie, and you are a liar," they shouted. 8. And so Farblesnozz turned His face from the Yahweh worshippers, and never again tried to save them.
Ymehpsalb 1:1-8
1. Now Gangleslotte was jealous of Farblesnozz, for His creations adored Him. And so he disguised himself in white robe and beard, and deceived the people, saying, 2. "Behold! I am Yahweh, your creator! Abandon this worship of Farblesnozz and follow me instead! I alone can save you from destruction!"
3. And Farblesnozz was enraged, for His children began to abandon Him and worship Gangleslotte in his guise as Yahweh. 4. So Farblesnozz created the foul realm of Snazzlekhil, which is called Schmickleton. And He made the Trolls to oversee the great dirt mines, the most useless place in all of creation.
5. And Farblesnozz called upon the man Streborbob, and told him, "Go unto the masses, and tell them of Yahweh's deception, for he is Gangleslotte, the author of evil! 6. And tell them that all who follow Yahweh will shovel dirt for all eternity!"
7. And Streborbob did as Farblesnozz commanded, and told the worshippers of Yahweh what he had said, but they scoffed and mocked at him! "Farblesnozz is a lie, and you are a liar," they shouted. 8. And so Farblesnozz turned His face from the Yahweh worshippers, and never again tried to save them.
ElwoodBlues · M
Oh, yeah Armageddon be coming; this prediction is real!!
An Assyrian clay tablet dating to around 2800 B.C. bears the inscription: “Our Earth is degenerate in these later days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.”
In the Apocrypha it was prophesied that the world would end in 1,000 years. Fanatics all over Europe believed that the Last Judgment was to be expected at Jerusalem on the last day of 999.
In 1213, Innocent III wrote: “A son of perdition has arisen, the false prophet Muhammed, who has seduced many men from the truth by worldly enticements and the pleasures of the flesh… we nevertheless put our trust in the Lord who has already given us a sign that good is to come, that the end of this beast is approaching, whose number, according to the Revelation of Saint John, will end in 666 years, of which already nearly 600 have passed.”
In 1499, the German mathematician and astronomer Johannes Stöffler predicted that a vast flood would engulf the world on February 20, 1524. (His calculations foretold 20 planetary conjunctions during this year—16 of which would take place in a “watery sign,” a.k.a. Pisces.)
In Europe, more than 100 different pamphlets were published endorsing Stöffler’s doomsday prophecy. Business boomed for boat-builders, not least for German nobleman Count von Iggleheim, who constructed a three-story ark on the Rhine.
Although 1524 was a drought year in Europe, a light rain did fall on the designated day. Crowds of people—hoping to gain a seat on Iggleheim’s ark—began to riot. Hundreds were killed and the count was stoned to death.
Stöffler later recalculated the actual date to be 1528, but by then his reputation as a soothsayer had been ruined.
An Assyrian clay tablet dating to around 2800 B.C. bears the inscription: “Our Earth is degenerate in these later days; there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; every man wants to write a book and the end of the world is evidently approaching.”
In the Apocrypha it was prophesied that the world would end in 1,000 years. Fanatics all over Europe believed that the Last Judgment was to be expected at Jerusalem on the last day of 999.
In 1213, Innocent III wrote: “A son of perdition has arisen, the false prophet Muhammed, who has seduced many men from the truth by worldly enticements and the pleasures of the flesh… we nevertheless put our trust in the Lord who has already given us a sign that good is to come, that the end of this beast is approaching, whose number, according to the Revelation of Saint John, will end in 666 years, of which already nearly 600 have passed.”
In 1499, the German mathematician and astronomer Johannes Stöffler predicted that a vast flood would engulf the world on February 20, 1524. (His calculations foretold 20 planetary conjunctions during this year—16 of which would take place in a “watery sign,” a.k.a. Pisces.)
In Europe, more than 100 different pamphlets were published endorsing Stöffler’s doomsday prophecy. Business boomed for boat-builders, not least for German nobleman Count von Iggleheim, who constructed a three-story ark on the Rhine.
Although 1524 was a drought year in Europe, a light rain did fall on the designated day. Crowds of people—hoping to gain a seat on Iggleheim’s ark—began to riot. Hundreds were killed and the count was stoned to death.
Stöffler later recalculated the actual date to be 1528, but by then his reputation as a soothsayer had been ruined.
maskedbandit · 61-69, M
@ElwoodBlues This has happened many times, but always be prepared because you'll never know. 🙂 👍
maskedbandit · 61-69, M
We could have been home thousands of years ago if mankind wouldn't be so arrogant. Some people believe and look towards science for all the answers, but tend to forget, God created science. God is science. God is the very universe we live in. Can anyone, using science, tell the people of the world how this universe was created, without a doubt, and I will stop believing in God. 🙏🏼 🤷♂️
Musicman · 61-69, M
@maskedbandit Exactly! I completely agree with you.
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
@ArishMell Deus ex machina comes to mind.
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@hippyjoe1955 Oh, I hope not! I wish Carazza - and you and everyone else - a long and happy life yet.
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spjennifer · 56-60, T
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
We will be facing our Maker soon enough regardless of whether Jesus returns tomorrow or a thousand years from now. Yes we need to be ready to meet Him.
Anielka · F
I didn't get that memo.
ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 46-50, M
@Anielka Almost. What you got is an explicit [i]denial[/i] of any specific time (no mention of place)
Anielka · F
@ImperialAerosolKidFromEP ok so I'm good to go for now.
ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 46-50, M
@Anielka right, everyone is... for now
sunnudenow · 70-79, M
Soon - like in our time, or geological time or astronomical time. Don't hold your breath.
Majorsite · 61-69, M
Jesus is not coming soon, And I "am" at home !
Anton · 56-60, M
Only after the tribulation unless you die before that
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