My story of the cult I was in part two

The day of our wedding I was having second thoughts. I still loved my first husband. I was still young and easily led and still broken hearted. I thought maybe my new man could make me happy. Everyone was waiting. My whole family and church friends so I felt obliged to go through with it!. Things settled down again for while once they knew we were married. But we were so hurt by the leadership that we left for a time. Then we bumped into the church in our local town. We decided if we switched households to one in Northampton things might be better. The leader there was very charasmatic and we settled back into life with the church again. The leader was very positive about us being involved because he wanted to bring the church back into our area. To fast forward later when this did not happen he began to get sour against us. Plus he was negative about a poor lad in their care who was coming off drugs saying 'he is so needy!' What did he expect!. Dealing with addicts and kids off the streets was what this church did. They were desperate and easy to brainwash. The leader had also pushed me to the floor in a meeting. He had been praying for the holy spirit to come over me. I was mean't to fall over as I was overcome by its power. But I felt nothing so he pushed me down instead. I was beginning to see the church for the cult it was. I wasa lso beginning to struggle with physical illness and having to stay at home alot. One night I was so angry with the church I shouted at the top leader on stage. The next week I apologised I wish I hadn't!. When my health deteriorated and we had to move too. The church helped but later when I couldn't attend they did everything they could to make me feel bad about it. They basically refused to help us when our flat became full of mould shortly after and I was sleeping on the floor when I have scoliosis and pins and rods in my back. I only wanted to stay there a couple of nights whilst we sorted an alternative bed. We were told why should we help you when you don't bother to attend. When we said I wanted to but couldn't currently due to illness. They refused to help. I thought this was unreasonable it was like I was being punished for being ill. We left and never went back. I have always missed the liveliness of the church. It took a long time to heal from the pain of seperation from something that was a big part of my life. Sorry its so long but this is my story.