So how do you deal with a parent that won't take proper care of their kid? The hygienic dimension and preventing the child from wasting all their time

And other contexts apply too.

This is so common in poor communities.

Discipline their kids instead of me taking that role. I feel like that role gets pushed on me.

Just to be clear here because many of you are wackjobs and there aren't enough asylums to host you all.

This isn't about beating up kids or any of your insane urges. Get that treated.

This is about scolding, lecturing, taking away tech...etc.

I don't want to play that role as a mentor or a teacher. I want to address their brains, their intellect.. especially when they already have parent(s). I can't mother every single child. Yes, they all matter. But I can't encourage their parents' passivity.

I also have limited emotional resources.

The other day I had to work while sick. As soon as I get to the ER and it is one of my students!! Seriously. I have told her mother over and over to instruct her kid to only play near their own home. And what happened wouldn't have to if she didn't stray away in rocky area.

She is fine now but not without life long physical reminder.

Her mother was emotionally collapsing so I didn't say anything at the time. But darn I want to slap her on the back of the head.

Accidents do happen. They happen less when you take proactive measures and keep an eye on your kids instead going out all the time and leaving them alone. Kids can't raise other kids.

I also had a kid who always smelled. I don't think I should have had that conversation with his parent. Water exists.

There are so many cases.

These kids deserve better.

Top | New | Old

writhe

I used to tutor elementary school children, private one on one lessons at their homes, which means the parents actually had money to cover their basic needs. But still even if they cared enough to get a tutor, they didn't seem too involved with their children themselves. Some of them seemed like they barely got out of the house, except for school. Very limited vocabulary I guess for lack of interacting with adults who'd put effort in communication. One of those parents even dismissed me after she told me her own child said "I want to improve for my teacher (me) and make her proud". He didn't say he wanted to do it for his parents, but a stranger. Neglect comes in so many forms that becomes almost hard to recognize if you're not inside the home. And there are people who think more kids nowadays are "slow" or have lower intelligence but they don't see what's happening behind the scenes. And it's so difficult to be put in a context of disciplining a kid when you're not the parent. Sometimes necessary but in most cases if the parent doesn't follow then it means nothing to the kids when it comes from strangers.

ThirstenHowl · M

Her mother was emotionally collapsing so I didn't say anything at the time

I dunno, maybe I lack proper social skills, but is that so harsh, or since their child did not actually die and still has a future, is that really the ideal time to say something, to emphasize how preventable their sorrow in that moment was so that hopefully they won't repeat it, especially because the next repetition could have a worse (even fatal) outcome?

Miram · 31-35, F

@ThirstenHowl

I had the discussions again after the procedure. And to be honest I am not sure it is changing anything.

It is hard to change certain behaviors after a certain age playing social roles that are never open to growth.

Add a comment...