Old and washed out

I’ve come to accept the fact that I have to work harder if I want to get anywhere with my passions at my age. If you’re not a young, beautiful spring chicken, no one is going to look your direction, especially in the fields I was hoping to get into. It feels as though no one cares anymore. I have got schooling in a field that is very competitive, and unfortunately it’s a starving field that you have to be better than everyone else to get noticed. I have been forgotten. Time keeps passing me by as I work a field I’m not passionate about just so I can make the bills. We are slaves to the money to keep roofs over our heads, and food in our stomachs until we die. That is how I feel.

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Notanymore · 36-40, M

Life is about counting the blessings you do have and being proud of what you have accomplished. I understand your frustration and I hope you never let your fighting spirit die.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Notanymore I’m being completely honest with you…it has been very rough, but I keep trying. And trying. And trying. It’s frustrating. But I don’t want to die without a fulfilled feeling. Otherwise what’s the point?

carpediem · 61-69, M

With a few little tweaks things could turn around for you in a big way.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@carpediem I need to figure out what these “tweaks” are.

carpediem · 61-69, M

@PoisonLace Try things out. See what works. Talent is everything at the end of the day. Show yours off. 👍

SW-User

I know it sounds like a corny cliche but 90% of everything is attitude

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@SW-User it’s possible I just need to start over from scratch and hope my boyfriend can remember to pay my bills while I try to find a career closer to my passion…because my attitude is that of the stuck type. I like my current job way better than any of the ones I’ve had, but it’s not in my preferred field…only problem is, getting in is an issue. No one sees me as a good fit because I’m not standard. The music industry is a snob. And truthfully, so is the writing field. They both want better.

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

Just wait til you're closer to 50. You are talking my world of reality lol

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@ravenwind43 the sad part is, that doesn’t seem so far away. 30 feels like yesterday, and so does 15. I remember when I had so much energy I could rollerblade all day. Now I can’t even rollerblade down the street without having to call my boyfriend to come pick me up because I can’t make it back. 😭 The time has weighed on me in a bad way, and I don’t know how it happened.

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@PoisonLace I've been complaining about something similarly and that my energy level just isn't what it used to be. I've just gotten back to the gym after the long covid hiatus and it feels twice as hard as the time before.

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@ravenwind43 so sorry to hear that. I really do hope it gets better for you. Don’t give up. I’m trying to tell myself the same thing.

Glossy · F

I’m guessing the “passion” is an art, like painting or singing…?

PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@Glossy yes. It’s music and writing. I love art as well, but I majored in music and minored in writing. Can’t seem to do anything with it. It saddens me.

Glossy · F

@PoisonLace If you are looking at trying to make money by writing and music, then yes it’s going to prove very difficult. However, if you use playing music and writing as a form of expression, then it’s just something you do for fun and enjoyment. Other people will get enjoyment from it, too. That may be fulfilment enough.

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PoisonLace · 41-45, F

@swirlie the hardest part is starting over when there are demands you can’t ignore. I would love to reinvent myself, but I don’t know how.

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