I remember when I went to MEPS in the Pittsburgh Federal Building. Bunch of young guys, plenty of nice food and drinks. Then they bring you into a big tiled room and tell you all to strip to your underwear (make sure to wear underwear), and they make you all do choreographed moves together while doctors scan you inmass, singling out guys and rejecting them one by one.
Then a Indian doctor has you go into a office one by one to strip naked and bend over. I went last, and he stuck his face up real close to my bung and poked it, and I squeezed by buns and pushed my hips forward.
When I got out I asked the other guys why you think he poked your butthole but none of them said it happened to them. Then we signed our papers, were sworned in and got some really crappy food to eat.... no longer trying to lure us in with the good stuff anymore.
Then I went to Fort Benning, a week later marched to 30th AG to begin training, and saw a guy get knocked out trying to catch a duffle bag being thrown off a truck in a hurry.... the lock on the top was facing outward and smacked him in the face. Lights out.
That first week you are in, when waiting for your training unit.... they have ice cream machines. Everyone was scared to go up to it with drill sargeants watching you, so nobody ate it. Until your insurance is signed in they aren't allowed to exercise you, as some guys have heart attacks the first day and the government doesn't want to deal with that, so have all the icecream you want. I had to visit 30th AG once when trying out for the Rangers and was in a basic BDU uniform, looked pretty much like everyone else.... I had ice cream, no issues.
Oh, and if you go AWOL, and if you are in Infantry AIT, Army loves it when you wait till the final 10 mile road march and the night before you and a buddy takes night vision goggles to go AWOL. They sent a inspector general to us as soon as the road march was over and put us on a trifecta punishment.... only three non-consecutive hours of sleep a night, and we had to search the whole route of the 10 mile roadmarch on either side of the road, shoulder to shoulder and walk in a straight line through the fields, and were not allowed to swerve around obstacles. If a tree was in the way you had to climb the tree in a stright fashion, and jump off the backend and resume walking. We hit a small river in Fort Benning and we all had to stick our heads under water and look for the night vision. We went through jumbled 30 feet high thorn bushes with vines. We were surrounded by howling packs of dogs at night. We looked for night vision goggles.... at night, with no night vision goggles to see them with because Army didn't trust us to lose anymore.
So I say if you go AWOL just wait till the last week and take all the night vision goggles with you. FBI and DIA and other acronyms will look all over ebay for them while you old unit langushes. Only reason the lockdown ended was because we graduated and had orders to all leave, a regular unit would be locked down for months and months if a radio or night vision went missing. No contact with family. Everyone torturing everyone. Something to tell the guys in basic training.
