I don't get paid enough to deal with the stress. [I Really Hate My Job]
I work at home, and you would think that would be something to be happy about. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy I accomplished getting a work at home job, but the one I got has not given me a good feeling. It is a fixed schedule, pays $10.50 per hour (which is more than I've gotten from most of my jobs in the past, all except one, however I don't get paid enough for all the screaming people do), and get yelled at by customers because I'm tech support. I have to fix peoples problems, and I'm expected to pitch a sale even though I'm not sales. When I get an abusive customer, I'm not allowed to hang up, and I can't transfer to a manager unless they specifically ask for one. If I call out, we're on a point system and get penalized for it. I rarely ever call out because I can't afford to lose my job, but I wish I could just quit. My anxiety gives me tremors, and even when I take my anxiety meds the job still brings the tremors out. I refuse to work in public again, especially with COVID-19. My previous jobs were in food service and retail, and I don't ever want to go back. It's the only other experience I have, and it's all my area will offer me since I only have a Bachelors degree in music.
And here, you're probably wondering why I haven't pursued my passion. Well, I was told 2 semesters before graduating that I couldn't move toward performance major because I wasn't standard performance material, and the teacher (who was also on the board) would not sign for me...and told me I had to be as good or better than her if I were to try for her symphony. I'm okay with not being in a symphony, as it is quite stressful and they put a lot of pressure on you to be the best. I would rather compose pieces, and I never wanted to teach. My degree was music concentration, where I concentrated on Cello, however, I didn't have a particular specialty due to the fact that I wasn't the best in anything. I have a passion for it, but I'm what you call mediocre...but I'm not bad. I'm just not the best. Anyway, I'm a starving artist who just published a book in hopes of somehow making a small living off of it and maybe being able to quit my job one day soon...cause I haven't been able to find one better than the one I have, or anywhere that will accept me when I've applied.
And here, you're probably wondering why I haven't pursued my passion. Well, I was told 2 semesters before graduating that I couldn't move toward performance major because I wasn't standard performance material, and the teacher (who was also on the board) would not sign for me...and told me I had to be as good or better than her if I were to try for her symphony. I'm okay with not being in a symphony, as it is quite stressful and they put a lot of pressure on you to be the best. I would rather compose pieces, and I never wanted to teach. My degree was music concentration, where I concentrated on Cello, however, I didn't have a particular specialty due to the fact that I wasn't the best in anything. I have a passion for it, but I'm what you call mediocre...but I'm not bad. I'm just not the best. Anyway, I'm a starving artist who just published a book in hopes of somehow making a small living off of it and maybe being able to quit my job one day soon...cause I haven't been able to find one better than the one I have, or anywhere that will accept me when I've applied.
41-45, F
