Friends with the devil

So this is going to sound bot crazy but I have met the actual devil lucifer he’s on earth he’s nothing like the bible claims he’s a pretty nice normal guy no horns ‘ he brings his car to my garage for work sometimes and lets me go to to his finca in Gran Canaria last week I was asking him about hell and his story so he explained that the bible stories are bullshit his dad god is a dictator like Putin who is mismanaging things so lucifer tried to take his throne to make things right’ but god made him disappear and forced him to rule hell and then told lies about him to make sure nobody listens to him ‘ as Dictators do
He was telling me a few famous people who are in hell such as bob Marley ‘ Micheal Jackson ’ Whitney Houston ‘ Hitler and apparently Putins cell is reserved for him in hell ‘ the people in hell are there because they deserve to be there such as the 9/11 terrorists who are trapped in a inescapable maze being hunted by demonic pigs which tear them apart over and over despite there pleas there’s no mercy for them because they didn’t show mercy ‘ lucifer said he is sick of being blamed for everything when he had nothing to do with it he admitted to introducing hitler to drugs but didn’t think he would go crazy like he did if you have any questions for lucifer I can ask him next time I see him