Update on my descent into hell, I feel like I’m falling forever, I take sleeping pills to make it stop
But it only works for a few hours… it seems like I’m gonna fall into a black hole and be crushed totally crushed. And my body will die. And I will be crushed for eternity and it’s gonna be extremely painful. I don’t know how painful. But I’m scared. When I see the singularity in my mind, I try to look away and think of something else and I just say no no no no no no no.
That translates to”it’s really against my will”… it’s the last thing you want😓😰😢
And part of me says I’m insane I’m crazy. No one would put themselves in this position.
But it wasn’t my fault it’s because I stopped working at 20 because of the pot. I met a girl in a sunglass hut she was working there. And she smoked patten on our day off she said why don’t we smoke pot and then decide what we’re gonna do? And that was like an alarm in my head I said no this is not good. You can’t live like this. You’re gonna destroy your life and lose your job.
And that’s what happened. And from then on in my life I received signs that I was going to hell. Because if you don’t work as a man you go to hell. Americans are lucky in that sense because they are forced to work. In Switzerland and Australia we get benefits so it’s tempting to just say fuck it and go on benefits and surf or snowboard your life away and smoke pot.
That translates to”it’s really against my will”… it’s the last thing you want😓😰😢
And part of me says I’m insane I’m crazy. No one would put themselves in this position.
But it wasn’t my fault it’s because I stopped working at 20 because of the pot. I met a girl in a sunglass hut she was working there. And she smoked patten on our day off she said why don’t we smoke pot and then decide what we’re gonna do? And that was like an alarm in my head I said no this is not good. You can’t live like this. You’re gonna destroy your life and lose your job.
And that’s what happened. And from then on in my life I received signs that I was going to hell. Because if you don’t work as a man you go to hell. Americans are lucky in that sense because they are forced to work. In Switzerland and Australia we get benefits so it’s tempting to just say fuck it and go on benefits and surf or snowboard your life away and smoke pot.
