I Survived Another Friday 13th

An asteroid is heading our way on Friday 13th – which is also the day we found out Boris won the general election.

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If everybody would just shift their weight 14 inches to the right the Earth will tilt just a tad and the asteroid will miss us by 300 miles or so. So at 2AM GMT everybody raise one leg and lean to the right and hold it for 17 minutes. That means all 7 billion of you.