I wish I was as comfortable with expressing myself on other social media like I am on SW.

I think it’s because there is a larger audience and generally I have a negative view point on people. SW has some jerks but compared to some other places, it’s pretty chill. I can say some off the wall shit and people don’t react that negatively.

I say this because I’ve had a rising interest in my own spirituality- I want to take it more seriously instead of dabbling. I joined some Facebook groups and started following YouTubers. As per the groups, I only feel comfortable observing because I fear negative judgement.

So anyway, I’ll tell you people.

I’ll admit I might be insane, our brains are just made up of a bunch of salt and fat. It’s prone to issues.

But anyway, I have seen “dead people” since I was child. I’m more prone to hearing their voices now as an adult.

Around 19 I was very depressed and suicidal, so I drank for the first time. I was planning to abstain from booze/drugs for my whole life (that didn’t work). I didn’t really know how to mix drinks, I filled a cup with vodka with a splash of cranberry juice and downed it. I liked the way it made me feel, so by the end of the day I drank the whole bottle. I continued this ritual for years- which is probably why my stomach is so screwed up now tbh.

I have previously grown up in a religious home. But in my drunken hallucinations I felt voices, I give the credit of my awakening to Abaddon. In these visions I felt like Judaism/Christianity (I grew up Jewish but was baptized as a teen, that’s a different story) had lied terribly about Satan. Satan was an important spiritual teacher and I needed him to reach the next level of consciousness.

Anyway, that’s the beginning. I don’t really feel like writing anymore. I’ll post this to test the waters.