When youre not good enough for anyone to want as you are so you have to work yourself to death to try to become someone actually wants. It's tiring

I'm not good enough for someone to want as is so I've been working myself to death trying to become someone that someone actually wants. I somehow hurt my ankle at the gym and my trapezius muscle is still messed up on the left side from working out everyday at the gym yet I keep forcing it. I go to bed hungry everyday because I'm only eating minimal calories to try to lose weight. I'm extra depressed and unhappy and feel manic at times. I just fear if I don't stop pushing what I want will never happen. I'll never be thin and hot and something someone wants if I don't keep forcing it to happen. Like I don't care if my ankle hurts I'm going to keep walking and going to the gym and I am avoiding working my back out still because I don't want to mess that up until it fully heals. I'm starving and really want a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy;s but I can't do that.