I feel life has passed me by.

I sit here, still living with my mum, in my 40s and I feel I have missed out on so much. I never finished school, never went to collage.l have only had a few jobs and currently I’m unemployed.
Its been years since I dated, I’m single and lonely.
I see the reason being my weight, I was a fat child and now I’m a very fat adult.
It seems so unfair that I have had to struggle all my life where others seem to breeze through.
I know I should diet and exercise, I have tried but the weight has always come back on.
I would just like to be given a chance at some of the things I have missed.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

abracadoo22 · M

I can relate. Not lived with my parents since 18 but lived alone and I'm older than you. Had a lot of setbacks, lost confidence got bad anxiety, had a bad upbringing.
But from expectance, and I am in the process of sorting things out. I'll tell you what I know so far. Time does not slow down it accelerates! If you are 45 now and always putting off things until tomorrow, you'll be 50 in a snap. And as you get older, you'll look older faster too and regret those lost days more. If you just auto-pilot through each day, look into getting some therapy. Or find it out online from You Tube even, or books. If you keep putting off the big steps in life and engross yourself in hobbies, for example, then that is self-sabotage. Look out for it, as it is a false sense of security, masking your focus and wasting real life opportunities. Also, voluntary experience is a good way back into employment and out of the house. A lot of people work from home now to remember, so an admin job could be ideal?

Starting to get fit again is going to give you confidence and make you feel healthier and more upbeat and motivated in the long run. Start with simple doable realistic changes. It only takes a short time to adjust and won't seem daunting.

My therapist recommended me The Chimp Paradox book. Its worth at least looking into, although I do find it a bit hard going, it is making a lot of clarity. If you don't have Audible you can get 1-month free trial plus one free book and thus a free Chimp Paradox. But get ready to take notes as you go through it. This may change your life around for free! ;)

I also recommend starting mindfulness meditations and looking into 'self-acceptance' for yourself. You tube is a good start for both. Or apps like Calm and Headspace, but they require a small subscription, or Smiling minds which is free but probably not as good. If the mindfulness isn't working for you, try a different source until it fits for you, and keep with it. Do it twice a day every day. Also, Reiki is good too, free sessions on YT.

Fatalice · 41-45, F

Thank you for your inspiring words a lot of food for thought.@abracadoo22

abracadoo22 · M

@Fatalice No worries...But don't do it tomorrow start today even if it's one you tube video, and write and plan these things into your daily schedule. Its no overnight fix, bit-by-bit it will start to click...Good Luck!