And then suddenly, with literally no explanation, it works.

It wasn't the language about her standing with her back to the camera, or being seen from behind, that was causing Bing to perv out. It was the language specifying that her dress covered her legs.
For some idiot reason, that was causing the idiot AI to reveal more and more leg until I was getting reported. All I had to do was remove that part, and it behaved. Why? I have no goddamn clue. This is all so stupid.