Standing on my groin, need help.

I have this fetish of wanting light, petite women with nice feet to stand on my groin area. Im married, and my wife doesn't enjoy doing this, but she is also a bit heavy. I sometimes talk to other women about this and say i had a dream about them (even though it's not true), just to get a reaction and see what they say. I got caught out and now I'm in the dog house, which i get. But how can i get over this? I still want it so bad, but I've not done this for 13 years with anybody, and the fetish is coming back harder than ever. I need help.