I'm already regretting this post. I know the responses are going to be hateful and exhausting. [I Married Curious]
So I'm married. It's been seven years now, so I should be getting the itch right?
Nope.
I'm very happy with the relationship. There are things that frustrate the hell out of me, but those exist in every relationship. The amount of work I do to take care of her as well as loving her can be exhausting at times. She can be really spiteful and it bothers me. I'm concerned that recently she's started 'reading more right wing stuff' because she's rebounding against the idea that we all need to be educated about racism.
But like I say, none of these are things that stop me from loving her. What's changed during lockdown is my understanding of myself. I've always argued against monogamy in a theoretical way, but being stuck in one place with one person - even someone I love - for these months has made me realise I am not a monogamous person. I guess that makes me polyamorous.
I've talked to her really openly and honestly about this. I've told her I've thought hard about it and explained exactly how I feel. I'd like the opportunity to say yes to situations that come up spontaneously. I've explained that I'm completely capable of falling in love with, and being in love with other people without this diminishing my feelings for her. I've said that there's no danger of me meeting someone and running away with them, because I'd only be interested in exploring with people who understand and respect that I love her and I'm not going anywhere.
She thought about it. Accepted that that's who I am. Went away for two days on a planned trip to see a friend.
When she came back she told me the whole idea made her sad and maybe we should just split up now to save things from falling apart over time. I immediately said this isn't what I wanted, the whole point is that I want to be with her, and be myself.
But I don't know if that's possible.
This is one of the rare posts where I'm actually asking for advice. What should I do?
Nope.
I'm very happy with the relationship. There are things that frustrate the hell out of me, but those exist in every relationship. The amount of work I do to take care of her as well as loving her can be exhausting at times. She can be really spiteful and it bothers me. I'm concerned that recently she's started 'reading more right wing stuff' because she's rebounding against the idea that we all need to be educated about racism.
But like I say, none of these are things that stop me from loving her. What's changed during lockdown is my understanding of myself. I've always argued against monogamy in a theoretical way, but being stuck in one place with one person - even someone I love - for these months has made me realise I am not a monogamous person. I guess that makes me polyamorous.
I've talked to her really openly and honestly about this. I've told her I've thought hard about it and explained exactly how I feel. I'd like the opportunity to say yes to situations that come up spontaneously. I've explained that I'm completely capable of falling in love with, and being in love with other people without this diminishing my feelings for her. I've said that there's no danger of me meeting someone and running away with them, because I'd only be interested in exploring with people who understand and respect that I love her and I'm not going anywhere.
She thought about it. Accepted that that's who I am. Went away for two days on a planned trip to see a friend.
When she came back she told me the whole idea made her sad and maybe we should just split up now to save things from falling apart over time. I immediately said this isn't what I wanted, the whole point is that I want to be with her, and be myself.
But I don't know if that's possible.
This is one of the rare posts where I'm actually asking for advice. What should I do?
36-40, M
