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What do you think about polyamory.

Any extremists on either side will be deleted. I want like genuine opinions that aren’t leftist or rightist bullshit
clarkegriffin · 22-25, F
i think monogamy is overrated and anything standard to society confuses me. that said, it can work with a lot of communication and honesty :) its not for everyone tho. i don't think it should be frowned upon..
curvie1 · 46-50, M
I have definitely loved more than one at a time, been intimate together at once a few times, and been intimate a part too. being intimate together at once is gorgeous and healthy if you ask me. In my 20's I could handle it, but now being monogamous is best - for me :)
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
I couldn't do it
Over twenty years ago I was in a polyamorous relationship with my wife and another girl. I can honestly say I loved them both. It worked for a while until my wife started to feel less significant. I made the choice, really was there any choice to make, to end things with the other girl. My wife was more important to me.

So I do believe it is possible to love more than one at the same time. It takes some work however. You have to work to have all are equals. It can be a beautiful thing.
I think some people are wired for monogamy and polyamory isn’t for them. I mean it sounds fun but I know me and i wouldn’t enjoy it.
handsomebrain · 70-79, M
Polyamory is beautiful, relationships are hard. Men are, instinctively polygamous (I certainly would love to be polygamous) and women would be in certain circumstances (Myth of Monogamy by David Barash). Polygamy is common in tribal cultures and polyandry is extremely uncommon and so go figure. Sometimes I think men and women are not the same species- apart from physical differences, such a large difference in brains.

Over many years, despite past harems and thousand wives, society and religion have turned emphatically monogamous, even with a large percentage having affairs. (The tendency and some yearning for affairs shows that we do need something more than monogamy). Selfish Genes by Richard Dawkins sheds some light on this.
Depends. I've been in one polyam relationship. There was so much jealousy and abuse. The dynamic was Him and his his vanilla gf then Him and me as M/s, then her and I had a vanilla bi relationship. He treated me special because of my duties as a slave, but when she became jealous and would berate him he would take his anger at her out physically on me, whether sexually or with his fists. I finally left after she encouraged him to beat me to death when he tricked me into coming over to pick up some of my tools from his apartment. He was arrested shortly after at his work.
My current Dom/husband is nowhere near like him, but poly relationships scare me because they can change people by a lot.
mainvane · 61-69, M
my friend Claire's son is married and they have brought another woman in to their home to live as a threesome. It's now called a, "Thrupple"
KelXtraAF · 31-35, F
@mainvane my dream. Fr Fr.
Viper · M
@KelXtraAF your dream would be to be married to one man and one woman?
VESTIGE · 36-40, F
I can’t I don’t think because someone is bound to get hurt and most likely it would be me. ☹️
VESTIGE · 36-40, F
@KelXtraAF You’re very sweet.💖 I’m interested in knowing how people come to be polyamorous. Are true loving relationships formed like in a monogamous one? When I think of polyamorous relations, my mind goes to “it’s cheating.” I don’t know how someone could be in love with so many at once. I think you might care for someone but there’s always going to be that one person who you might value more than another. There’s always that special one who will be your world and soul, the one you fall truly in love with. So I’m curious to understand how it ties together and how it works for someone who is polyamorous. Do they feel that same kind of love inside? Or is just a lustful thing and not wanting to be tied down to just one person?
KelXtraAF · 31-35, F
@VESTIGE I think with me i just have a lot of love to give. I didn’t have the typical family dynamic and while my basic needs were met, my emotional and loving needs were never met. I know I’ve at least loved two people at once and I don’t know what I’d do if I had to pick so I can understand the confusion. I’ve never been in a poly relationship because my partners are usually jealous or want to be monogamous (though usually that means they want me monogamous and they can cheat). Maybe I’d be the one to get hurt. Who knows lol
VESTIGE · 36-40, F
@KelXtraAF Hey doll!

I can definitely understand that view as well ( about being monogamous while they cheat.) I often wonder if that's why some people choose to be poly-amorous. From what I've always gathered from them, they are so hurt by love or the idea of love. They are deep, beautiful souls, who are broken, and feel so disillusioned by what it means to feel love and give love. I truly believe that. I can sense that also with your comment. You had a good family structure, but something was missing for you. And sadly, a lot of us grow up with that lack. Humans are meant to be nurtured by others. We all want to feel validated, and if we don't get it from something or from somewhere, our souls start to wander and become lost because we want to be something greater than what we have known as the typical monotony of daily tasks in life. I always believe that there are those special few of us who have a certain void that our souls are tethered to, the soul void as I like to call it; where we don't even know how to describe what we feel. We feel a longing for something, some place, somewhere, that we aren't even sure exists. So we keep the lonely pace of our lives, never knowing or feeling anything except a moment's bliss from time to time of laughter, or something that we deem beautiful; anything to keep our souls or minds busy to keep the focus from our lost hearts. I have typically been monogamous in my past. I've given love, but have never received that same love in return; which resulted in heartbreak because the other parties just wanted flings. It's not their fault, it was mine, for getting too caught up in my ideas of how I wanted them to be. I shouldn't have expected too much. I look back now, and the ones that I didn't go for at the time, who went for me, those are the ones I should've given my attention to. I wonder if things could've turned out differently for me in life. Maybe I would've had stability. Now all I am doing is searching for answers to mysteries, only to be greeted with the ether of nothingness.

I don't mind jealousy or if someone demands my attention sometimes. It is cute to me, and shows that they care about you, or if someone is eyeing you. Although if they are doing it for all of the wrong reasons, then yeah, that could be bad. Only to feel more in control, and they don't really care about you, which results in cheating. It's very saddening. I'm sorry about that. : ( I Relationships, monogomous or Poly, are difficult. I find polyamorous folks tend to be the most deep individuals because they use it because they feel such a hatred and pain that can't be explained. I think a lot of the time it is a fascade for that pain. So they just give up on love. They do feel love though, I believe that. It's just from what I've witnessed. They are very fragile individuals for whatever the reason. : ( I hope that come what may girl, you can find what it is you're looking for in life. You go on and shine and be the light in this dark world! You're marvelous! : )
Quimliqer · 61-69, M
The ability of all parties to keep feelings in control would be very hard. Good communication is imperative to allow open love between all parties, and wonderful understanding.
Kae20 · 56-60, F
Hmmm an interesting topic.

Balanced thoughts in sometimes theres a good case for it. Mostly when children aren't involved.

It becomes more than a little selfish (I believe) when they are.

Ive lots of serious thoughts really its a subject I may post on , when I have the time.
handsomebrain · 70-79, M
@Kae20 I would think the children would feel even more secure and have more "aunt-uncle parents"- a village, as it were. However, they may feel awkward explaining this to their friends.
Kae20 · 56-60, F
@handsomebrain "it takes a village " yes thats true enough .
I just dont think its a good impression on a young mind .

If that village resides under one roof & they are all jumping in & out of bed .. muliway disagreements .

Difficult enough to navigate when its just the two biological parents.

Think kids need to learn from bat that two people can love, care for each other without 3rd , 4th , 5th parties. Idk ..just my thoughts where children being raised are concerned.
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Cabernetfranc · 80-89, M
A viable alternative to monogamy.
Viper · M
If it works for a couple great, though I'm not sure it'd work.for most.

I don't think I could share with another man.
All I can say is that it wouldn’t be for me. 🙁

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