Anyone else?

I'm 27 and i am mentally and physically drained. For 14 years, i have been living my life being in a closet. I am soo scared of coming out, i would rather end my life, society is judgemental, family is strict and they will disown me and i will have no where to go. My life has been full of sadness and depression. I've self harmed, tried to commit suicide twice.

I can't afford to open up to anyone, due to my mental health issues.

I have never forgotten the first girl from school i fell in love with, 14 years later i still love her even though we havent spoken in 10 years, she was just a friend and it was her touch that made me fall in love with her. My love for her was the purest thing ever, i felt so many emotions and feelings, it was beautiful.

If it was easy for me, i would love to be with a girl, be in love with a girl who would love me for me. But i know its impossible and this is something that will kill me every day of my life

I live my life how my family, friends and society would want me to live, i need to live up to their expectations. I'm pretending to be someone else, instead of being myself.

What kind of life is this, being in a closet, being scared, being depressed, being suicidal, all this just for being a lesbian.

I have a great social life, but whats the point in it when you can't open up to anyone about who you truly are.

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Canicu69 · 70-79, M

Life is too short not to enjoy it. I have a granddaughter who came out. Yes lots of people were upset. They thought it was the end of the world. Me I told her I would support her and not to worry about what others think. It’s your life YOU need to be happy. You must come out. Your parents will adjust. They love you as you love them. They are not going to kick you to the curb. They may express anger, but that changes into disappointment then acceptance. It takes a little time, you can quit self hurting yourself, you will feel so much better that you came out, your intentions being suicidal will subside. Then you will be happy. You deserve that. Think about it. You just think your parents will be a problem. Give them time to digest it. Distance yourself for awhile….the will come around. You have to do this. You need to start enjoying life. It is really all about YOU, your wants and needs. You can’t, and shouldn’t be living your life for others, they don’t live theirs for you !!!!